Uncomfortably Numb

Stars at night seem to say to me you have lost your way. You have lost your dreams and you have lost your soul. You believe too much in destiny and not so much in yourself anymore. I look at ... its been long since I looked at ... talked to the star that was my friend in those cold lonely nights I even gave her a name. These days it feels like that I need her again.   She understood me, comforted me, she was there when I needed her. I confided in her and she listened never judged. Just listened. She took me in her arms and I would sleep.   How hard was that time for me ... now it seems that... it was nothing ...   I don't know when I became the pessimist I am.    I guess it happened when I abandoned her thinking I was complete now. But who is complete.            

Why do we keep making the mistakes again and again. Why do we keep living the same moments again and again. Its like we are addicted to our pain. Our emotional needs are recurring. Some people wonder why is it like this. What I found out is that this is mechanism by God to encourage us and to give us oppertunities to ask for His blessings...  

I like to use less words. Makes me feel in control and makes you think. Thats what I need ppl to do ... think. Thats what I do.   I need my younger generation to think where are we going. I need them to see how wishes are becoming needs.   I need them to find the truth with me.   Lets Hope.  

I guess... there was no death and this is the afterlife cause I am still breathing. That's life isn't it ? We say that a person is alive when he breaths...   But still how we live a life does matter... Does it ?   Lemme tell you a story. Its about a person who was alive. Why because that person was meant to be that way. That person always wanted to know why ? Sometimes he thought he knew the answer and sometimes he didn't.   He often wondered what is real truth.. isn't that something that a person can only know after death... then why wait. Why not end it all thus knowing all... but he was afraid ... afraid of the rules that he was sure were real.   So he decided to take another path... the path that he was always told would lead him to his goal.   so he is walking... on a road on which the end is promised to be his ultimate wish to be one with the truth...   will he ever reach there when on every turn there are signs to mislead him ...   he zi

I just want to know when will the cycle end ... is there any hope left ...I am stuck and cant get out it seems like there is no end to what i am going through. It was not like this in the begining ...   The begining was beautiful it was the dew on the soft morning flowers. It was like no other feeling that ever was. I wonder how things are lost so easily. How anything can change and one cant do a thing to stop it.   I know that time heals wounds ... but I dont want the wounds healed ...   I am not sure what I want anymore... nothing is that important anymore... its just a mare existance ... since I exist so I must go on... So I am told again and again ... where ever I go. Why ?   I wonder... how would it be if it were not a sin to .... end it all.   I wish there was someone ...   Sometimes I wonder what would I change in my life so that it would become meaningful and find no answer... it seems nothing is of any meaning to me anymore ...   DEATH

What is a man's worth...   Its how much money he makes. How expensive his watch is...   What about knowledge...Dignity...Rightousness...Truth... What about experiance... What about devotion... What about pation... What about sacrifice...   nope... your nothing if your purse is not filled with whatever is your favorite bank note.   We live in a world where there is one measure of a man's worth. The whole world spins around it. Like dogs after a bone... we run ... trying to catch it... Pushing each other behind.. tripping one another to death if necessary. We Dont care ... we need money. We need it to feed our hunger for more and more things.   Things ... that make our lives meaningfull ... like a watch ... a Mobile fone and Dish washer....   Relations that we stepped over don't matter hearts that are broken by our words dont count.   We need just one thing...   Money.                    

Sometimes you just wanna scream, tell the world what's going on inside. But u cant. U cant tell cause that will hurt so many and you will gain nothing. So you keep quiet but what does that achieve for you, nothing but pain and constant misery. You wish you could tell everyone how you've been betrayed, hurt and smashed to pieces. You wish you could tell them how you feel so broken inside and how you cant find a single reason to go on living. You wish you could tell them that everything you ever held dear to you was a lie. You wish you could tell them that you've been betrayed by the single person in the world that you thought could never do that to you. You wish that you could tell them that the notion of family and bonding that you had was shattered at the alter of reality. You wish you could tell them that you want out but cant get out cause you love someone too much to put a life at stake for yours. What can one do? Tell everyone that