Uncomfortably Numb

I wrote some of this a month after the attacks in Lahore,  in which more then 86 Ahmadi worshipers were brutally murdered. It was the largest attack of this kind on Pakistani soil and modern Religious history, even after so many years the memories remain vivid in my mind and every new atrocity brings back the pain to the surface again. A lot has been said for how it happened and why it happened and who is responsible. For that I only say that we have rested our case to Allah Almighty and He will do us justice Inshallah. Although this event had a profound impact on all of the Jamaat what I want to share here are my personal observations as a person who was involved in reporting the incident via MTA International. I got the news while I was at home cause friday is the day off. I was called to the office immediately as our teams were getting ready to go to Lahore. At that time I was sent to the Aam Qaberstan (the graveyard next Bahisthi Maqbra) to get the shots of the graves being

Mooda says I am leaving. He is determined to leave Pakistan at whatever cost. I asked him what will you do and he says ... bathroom saf ker laan ga but will not live in this country any more. What provoked this sudden change of heart I asked and he said in his typical style ... Yaar Naeem Bhai eithay kuj nahin rakhya hun ... sab tabah ho gya aey ... Kam koyee hay nahin .. machinan band piyan nain loki dokana khol ke behtay nay per kam nahin kuinke bijli nahin.... The same Mooda only a few months ago said he would never leave Pakistan ever... then asked he said there are plenty of opportunities here and if one worked hard he could make a life for him self. Once I asked him Mooday tuun baher kuin nahin challa janada he said Pakistan mera mulk aey asi bari qurbaniyan dityan ne ainoo banan astay agar sab parhay likhay log chad kle challay gaye te fer aida ki banay gaa. Mooda was doing his PhD in physics at that time. I wonder how many Moodas are left in this country now ...

I have learned from experience over and over again that people cannot be trusted. When I first heard trust no one on x-files I didn't know that eventually it would become my motto too. What amazes me is how easily everyone else around me seem to trust total strangers. Maybe I was destined to be a loner. I definitely didn't plan on it. And then come those people who want something from you always, the moment their need is satisfied your history bro. And there are those who always manage to find fault in every thing someone does I imagine thats partially because of their inability to achieve what u have. And then there are those who just do anything for glory wah wah and balay balay. In my life I've rarely seen people who were genuine and wanted to do something just because it was needed. People assume everyone to be like themselves and read motives and aspirations which may not exist. I'm sick of people. People despise, say hateful words, deceive and manipulate, lie, ch

useless empty life worthless words echo in my mind over and over again we run this circle over and over we fall could it be that this time you'll pick me up could it be that this time you'll take my hand as I see you pass me by heart aches with the distance you never look back not even once heart aches with every footstep taking us further apart memories left behind of a beautiful start

today was the last time that I tried but you are heartless you are a lie you cannot see and now I will not show you you dont deserve my love and you will never have it again so keep on doing what you do for the one who gave a damn is not yours anymore

For what its worth all a persecuted man can do is try to reason, try to explain that what you're doing in the name of God has nothing to do with the teachings of Islam, try to appeal to the one thing that binds us all, humanity, to stop the barbarity, stop the hatred before it consumes everything... that the path Pakistan is being forced to take will lead to its destruction. No matter how many times I try, they still murder my brothers. I force my self to be calm cause I don't believe that my resorting to violence is the solution but that does not mean that I don't feel anger ... I do... I feel rage and that rage turns to tears when I pray... I pray that may Allah crush to a paste those who murder in the name of God and those who help them. I have a firm belief that Allah listens to the prayers of those who are in pain and who are the persecuted. One might think that this prayer is just a cry of someone who is weak and worthless but beware if you close your eyes

So I was surfing the net & this link pops up on twitter. As a rule I have decided not to watch Pakistani television for mental health hazard reasons but heck this was from the net and must be something funny but it turned out to be shocking. A mob of Vigil-Aunties lead by Maya Khan attacking kids allegedly on dates in the parks... well to tell the truth it was kinda funny for about 3 seconds and then it turned to horror and outrage. Who is she to be the moral police was my first reaction. Its sad really to see the lows people can go to just for cheap fame. The reaction from the internet was overwhelmingly negative as well. I think all the rage and the disgust stems from the fact that this one incident illustrates how close to the brink we really are. The fact that Pakistani society has extremism now embedded in its very core. You dont need to be mullah or bearded religious fanatic to be an extremist, years of programming of the pro-radical islamic doctrine to the