Uncomfortably Numb

You have come into my life like a blessing You make me feel love which I was missing You are like a beautiful rose a flower Sweet scent of your love is spreading You have engulfed my heart and my soul Silenced my cries and laughter is all I'm hearing How I love u I wish I could explain How could I resist some one as u are caring

Wish I could just vanish Silently without a whisper Into nothingness Without pain Without memories How I long for you Loving someone You can never hold Never look in the eyes Sweet perfume on you clothes Is fading..... so is my will You said no one dies with someone You were right... This is worse Wish I could just fade I can't bare your not being there

How materialistic ambition dictates the human condition is mind boggling. How everyday we are presented sugar coated lies and we relish the ignorance and forbid knowledge & understanding surrendering the will to question. How they cheer... A fabric of pretty lies to blind them and their masters drip their very souls till the very last of humanity bleeds. How they suffer and no one sees cause all they want to see is the facade of blissful ignorance which they love cause there is safety in burying their heads in the sand. How I mourn the plight of my brothers who have no voice and are condemned to a destiny of oblivious slavery to the worship of new idols. They cannot comprehend the trap which invites them with glitter. All they see is their idols... Whom they worship without question. Wish they could see beyond the lies... Beyond the facade what hideous faces await to devour their very existence into oblivion... Still they March on.... Consumed by their mindless idol wors

Those eyes filled with wonder Without a word said so much journey was just beginning you had the kind the gentle touch You were Personified innocence Everything about you was such Sat beside me when I would pray understood without saying much you made me proud only if I could say If words convey I love you how much Happy birthday my son. I know these words don't do you justice. I can never find words that could explain what you meant to me and how empty I feel without you and how you make me proud. May you rest in eternal peace. Rohan Ahmad Numair 2003 - 2013

Today as the Jalsa UK 2013 is about to start , the mind is full of memories of moments spent. This time the focus of these memories is the Jalsa Salana that was held in Rabwah. My memories are conflicted between two emotions, one is filled with the beautiful mements of Jalsa Rabwah and the second is the fire of longing that burns in my heart which is reignited when I start to remember, its like a thirst which cannot be replenished & the reason for that is, like so many others I am of that generation which has not witnessed the Jalsa Rabwah in its full glory. There are a few vague memories, which are blurred by the limitations of childhood. Going through the streets of Rabwah when one passes in front of the different Langar Khanas in every Mohallah of Rabwah one cannot help but wonder at the hustle and bustle these places would have seen and what our elders tell us about. 1983. The last ever Jalsa held in Rabwah, the last time a populous of more than 250,000 made Rabwah

I put on those clothes that I bought the day I came back cause I wanted them to see me as you would. Quickly I get ready for I want to see you so badly.  Spray that perfume you would have liked...  My daily ritual of sorts... I know it is getting late... soon the sun would be no more and I standing alone in the darkness. So much to tell you... So much to say and hear... They say it's weird that I smile sometimes. They judge me from afar.  Perhaps they can only see what's written...  Perhaps reading  between the lines is a lost art. They can't see my eyes when someone says your name...  How can they.... As the time for us to meet goes near my heart shudders recalling the past...  Words said... Not said.... And fears...  Questions... They still remain unanswered. Will remain for eternity... As I walk towards you I know you can't see me.  I don't wish anymore cause I know there is nothing left when they come true...  You were my wish that came true. I reach t

Today I will wear a smile I will pretend your there in the morning To wake me up To get my clothes ready I will pretend you're there to greet me I will taste the sweets you've made I will hear your laughter I will praise you on the way you look I will meet people as you would I wish pretending was easy I wish I could do what I said I would