Uncomfortably Numb

Look at what you've done - A #visual #poem by Naeem Ahmad Sabir pic.twitter.com/XsDR2Gfsk9 — Naeem Ahmad Sabir (@cybegeek) October 23, 2016 look at where you've been all the love & pain seen lessons of life come undone look at what you've done still you've learnt nothing still you don't listen desires have you in prison in chains that glisten you're hollow at the inside pretend smiles at the outside you preach perfect devotion secret dirt brushed aside someone has to place a mirror to your face how hideous you've become greed lust pride disgrace your worship is theatrical your love is superficial heart made of black stone your life is just artificial

Trying to understand the world around us, what makes people do the things they do, their motivations, their beliefs, is it simply that black and white, what about the greys? 
 Why do we find that most of the times those supposed bastions of faith are the ones the most corrupt. Dont these people understand the precept of their own belief system. What makes them not practice what they preach? The answer to this question unlocks the deepest mysteries of belief and sin. 
 Unfortunately the dogma that one adheres to does not supersede the universal vice of greed & ego, until there is equality, all the promise of salvation is deluded, a smokescreen to enslave and exploit, regardless of what dogma you adhere to, if in practice there is injustice and there is a clear divide, it is a failure. 
 Here is the stumbling block, when one tries to make sense of what one observes, with logic alone and can be forgiven for thinking that perhaps the purpose of every theological dogma

The reality of living in this world, a conflict between the needs and wishes deeply anchored in the class divide. I see mediocrity so permanently imbued in the collective psyche.  Sometimes all one can do is to give in to the mundane, stop living & just exist. Finding someone to have an offbeat, real meaningful conversation, an impossibility. I sought refuge in the social media for some time, but that too has become stale, tedious. A habit without any emotional reward. The interaction, all but reduced to regurgitation of bent opinions and trumpeting of political agenda or some religious doctrine, manipulation. No one questions anymore, no one has time to think for himself and arrive on conclusions, perhaps wrong but his own. This place has no respite, no open space to just sit and ponder. One wonders is it by design? The whole system built on repression, on exploitation, the divide, easily seen. Yet the rituals of allegiance continue, conditioning the masses not to question. A

No. I won't say it when I know your words words. Without meaning When I see your eyes Eyes. Betray what's in the heart Heart. Which has no love Without saying a word You ripped apart all that was All that ever will be What saddens me the most Your eyes have no remorse No. I won't answer for you When you don't even see the pain overrated bonds of blood in vain Reason. Something to gain? Blemish. An irreversible stain I could never understand  Why those you love the most Are the ones who hurt the most And they don't see it, don't care So now you win, I don't care either

Life gives you lemons And the lemons are sour A world where you're measured not what's in the heart, but more You look better from a distance A burden they'd rather abhor Tis better never pinning hopes When apparent, they care no more You become insignificant, worthless The higher & higher they soar To them you're a relic Something they'd rather not explore You try, but your heart can't ignore You are, just not the destination anymore

Soaring high in the sky As the visions in time fly by That last goodbye Can't forget even if I try A test to the core I pleaded I couldn't take no more Gave me the ever listener a new dawn Such happiness and bliss in-store  As I see the clouds pass me by Can't help but be grateful My heart sings thy praise o Lord Such kindness for me the sinful?  All I wish is your grace A place within your embrace For I know there is no other bliss A world to vanish without a trace

Like a failing leaf I stumble  Falling into oblivion I shudder Watching with eyes wide shut I forsake convention for bliss Inviting me is the darkness eternal Underneath the layers of dust Can't fathom what lies beyond Perhaps a smile of a loved one  Perhaps a face not seen for long embrace not held when it was time A heart can only take so much Perhaps mine is made of stone Beneath every smile, every breath It aches it shatters it melts it breaks The world calls to me oblivious Not knowing how I loath its existence Glimmers of happiness, a child's voice a companion's embrace, light in darkness