Uncomfortably Numb

Don't read this, it maybe gibberish to you but its the state Im in. I feel like all that's bottled up in me needs an outlet. I write poems without context but I don't want to give context either. Its like part of me wants to tell the world my story and a part of me just wants to forget.  I look around and the superficiality is painful. I see mockups of what real people used to be. I see relics of what once was exciting. Sometimes I want to scream at the top of my lungs and name names of those who wronged me, who stood there and did nothing when they could have stopped what was right in front of them.  But they took sides, I don't want to see their faces anymore but I can't escape, stuck here in this prison, this black hole. This  city just sucks the life out of you.  But thats just one stream of thought that haunts my mind, there are others, a blend of disgust and indignant resignation.  People running ... just running towards what they can get, possessions... or st

You said that I would remember I do for all the wrong reasons I feel the despair creeping in endless abyss I am sinking in almost wished to stop breathing every breath familiar aching something is pulling me down as if the weight is pushing I am falling I am falling I cannot stop I cannot breath you let me down and went away how can I forget & stop grieving how can I ask to your face now what did you get for deceiving emptiness left when love dies hearts in despair & silent cries what keeps me awake I am not sure I hate you or love you like before part of me wants you to suffer like all those sleepless nights part of me just wants to let go but how can I stop remembering with every memory tainted now this is what drags & kills me I write laments thats who I am no one will or can understand

I think I'm not that old but when I grew up we had family gatherings which were about well, gathering... Most vivid and cherished memories of my younger years are the family get togethers we used to have at our house, sometimes paaye party and sometimes it would be a BBQ and sometimes just Halwa Puri with channas . The food was exquisite but the memories are not about the food or the venue, they are about the happiness and joy that was felt to be surrounded by loved ones. The elders would sit in the veranda on charpois and talk about stuff, family, politics, and life, one uncle would share a joke and another would tell about some funny moments in their lives. Not once would the price of something would come up or what the set decoration of the venue was or how big the cake was. No show, no competition. Fast forward to current times we have birthday planners now, extravagant halls are being booked for what used to be simple religious or family events and everything is for show, e

Want to say the things that I used to but its not the same now for us two still the thought makes my heart race erase this trace the ache must embrace so here is the deal you must not feel cover you ears they still hear the voice you have to make the clear into the blur never let the world know that you miss her I write laments for its all that I know every kind of smile to them I show these closures are just on the surface aching heart underneath on the brew please go away take this pain with you leave me alone for I can't take it no more I plead to the thoughts that haunt me keep me locked in the dark for evermore Oh Dawn save me fill me with your light you say that we don't have that connection know that you are the one who saved me the one that deserves my affection

Bigger better faster stronger just wait a little longer to have what she lacks ignoring what she has on her Write what rhymes in these uneasy times they hide their crimes sweet talking warning signs Trust is there to be broken your beliefs are to be shaken vows of eternal faith taken a facade hiding the forsaken look into the distant past for the dreams that didn't last blames all around you cast look in the mirror for contrast

Waiting for whispers ignoring the echos holding on to sorrows projecting on tomorrows Healing heart takes time let go of what aches inside for this seedling to grow needs the blessed sunshine It is He who can heal takes the sorrows away fills it with content & joy like new born on that day Trust in Him and call watch the sorrows fall with open heart and faith accept his will and wait For the flowers to bloom they will, you will see and take you higher away from pain agony Just be patient my dear with faith and love when you believe in His love you will see the fogs clear These thought came to me while reading a conversation on twitter and the word "whisper" stuck in my mind.  Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back.  Plato.

Faded thoughts of days held dear jaded memories of those not near Changed have we for better or worse cant say the words perhaps a verse I will remember you I said once the only promise thats left of us Why cant time heal this scar was betting on that from afar Who is not wrong & who is right why cant the heart see the light Was it real just a mere fantasy that what heart wanted a fallacy Can one love that much to forget find places where walls can erect Broken rules come at a price Broken dreams Broken hearts Scars for life