The last time

today was the last time that I tried
but you are heartless
you are a lie

you cannot see
and now I will not show you
you dont deserve my love

and you will never have it again
so keep on doing what you do
for the one who gave a damn

is not yours anymore

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A look at the extremist mindset of Pakistan (The Maya Khan incident)

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So I was surfing the net & this link pops up on twitter. As a rule I have decided not to watch Pakistani television for mental health hazard reasons but heck this was from the net and must be something funny but it turned out to be shocking.


A mob of Vigil-Aunties lead by Maya Khan attacking kids allegedly on dates in the parks... well to tell the truth it was kinda funny for about 3 seconds and then it turned to horror and outrage. Who is she to be the moral police was my first reaction.

Its sad really to see the lows people can go to just for cheap fame. The reaction from the internet was overwhelmingly negative as well.


I think all the rage and the disgust stems from the fact that this one incident illustrates how close to the brink we really are. The fact that Pakistani society has extremism now embedded in its very core.

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Outcasts - The Ahmadis of Pakistan

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As I was growing up in Pakistan I never really thought of myself as a minority until the bitter reality hit me in the late 80s that everything I was, was wrong to someone. Even though I never did anything to that someone, I didn't even know that someone.
A generation that has grown belonging to my faith has known nothing but hatred from their fellow Pakistanis, Ahmadis living in big cities face discrimination as routinely as an ordinary Pakistani does load shedding. As if firing from jobs, shunning from businesses, students being rusticated and separation of water glasses were a birth right, every facet of society takes its share in discrimination, in dehumanising, in rampant disregard of common human decency. 
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Feelings of an Ahmadi enduring endless Persecution

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For what it's worth all a persecuted man can do is try to reason, try to explain that what your doing in the name of God has nothing to do with the teachings of Islam, try to appeal to the one thing that binds us all, humanity, to stop the barbarity, stop the hatred before it consumes everything ... that the path Pakistan is being forced to take will lead to its destruction. No matter how many times I try, they still murder my brothers. I force my self to be calm cause I dont believe that my resorting to violence is the solution but that does not mean that I dont feel anger ...

I do ... I feel rage and that rage turns to tears when I pray ...

I pray that may Allah crush to a paste those who murder in the name of God and those who help them. I have a firm belief that Allah listens to the prayers of those who are in pain and who are the persecuted.

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First job at MTA Pakistan

It was late 2000 I think my mother had just passed away in september and I was also a newly wed. At that time I was jobless and doing small jobs like making dvds vcds or editing wedding movies. Which I didn't like at all cause that meant doing editing typical desi paki style which I hate. Anyway in this regard I was known in rabwah that this guy knows something about video. So one day I got a call from MTA Pak that they wanted help in some NLE job. So I went and then never stopped going. Worked for almost three years as a volnteer untill I got a job there.

My first major job at MTA was the Holy Quran Project. I took me and my team took about 2 years to finish the complete Quran and its translation.Two sets were made from a single project one quran tilawat only and second with urdu translation. The whole thing was a complicated accumilation of different parts. For example the audio was analouge had to be captured the cleaned of all noise and then treated. That alone took a day or …
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Rohan - Part 2

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29th May 2013 the last day I saw my son alive. We had traveled all night and my flight was at 9am. We stayed at a place for freshening up in the morning just outside of Islamabad, it was a cool breeze and Rohan & Rohail were running around, it was a hilly place all green, a mosque. 
It was the last time I saw him smiling, that moment his innocence, the laughter with his brother, thats how things should be.

A playstation thats all he wanted, and thats what I promised I would send him, he had started counting the months even before I left. A year later when Rohail got his console I kept thinking how happy Rohan would have been if he had gotten it.
As we started again, he became sad, he did not want me to leave, he was on the back seat, how I wish I could have spent more time with him, when we reached the airport we were running a few mins late so I quickly hugged everyone Goodbye, how I wish I could have hugged him a little longer. That was the last time I touched him.
After the boa…
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3 Days to Remember (The Last Jalsa Salana in Rabwah)

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Today as the Jalsa UK 2013 is about to start , the mind is full of memories of moments spent. This time the focus of these memories is the Jalsa Salana that was held in Rabwah.

My memories are conflicted between two emotions, one is filled with the beautiful mements of Jalsa Rabwah and the second is the fire of longing that burns in my heart which is reignited when I start to remember, its like a thirst which cannot be replenished & the reason for that is, like so many others I am of that generation which has not witnessed the Jalsa Rabwah in its full glory. There are a few vague memories, which are blurred by the limitations of childhood.


Going through the streets of Rabwah when one passes in front of the different Langar Khanas in every Mohallah of Rabwah one cannot help but wonder at the hustle and bustle these places would have seen and what our elders tell us about.

1983. The last ever Jalsa held in Rabwah, the last time a populous of more than 250,000 made Rabwah their host. Th…
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Rohan - Part 1

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Rohan would have turned 11 this September and when I posted his pic online someone who obviously didn't know about the events of last year asked me who was he and I kept asking myself the same question after that, who was he? Perhaps the more pertinent question is what was he to me?
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I remember vividly the moment he was handed over to me that small cuckoon wrapped in soft blue cloth and small baby clothes which his mother had spent weeks preparing. There is nothing like holding your child for the first time, everything about that moment gets etched in your memory forever, the tiny hands and feet, your afraid that you might drop the baby and then the fragrance of Johnson's baby powder. Those small movements the baby make…
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My Mother - Amtul Hafeez Begum

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September 11 2000 is the day my mother passed away after fighting cancer for 4 years. I have never known anyone more gentle & kind than her. I have seen her in pain, but never once did I see her complain. Her patience was remarkable. Now that I'm older and understand certain things, I see that there aren’t many people like her in this world.
My brother Tanweer Sabir from UK recalls his memories, Ami, as he used to call her with effection, writes, "I have known her for her gentleness and kindness for her family and also for others. A very very brave women she was indeed. The way she fought cancer till the depart, with strong will and faith in Alllah. She knew all along what was going to happen, always encouraged her children to pray for her. I remember her, always smiling and prayers on her lips for us. I deeply miss those prayers, kindness and affection." 
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کچھ تلخ باتیں

ہم بعض واقعات اور لمحات کو سینے سے لگا کر تو رکھتے ہیں مگر یہ نہیں سوچتے کہ آیا وہ فیصلے اور ترجیحات درست بھی تھیں کہ نہیں؟ ۔ کہ کہیں اپنے سکون اور خواہش کی تسکین کے لئے خدا تعالیٰ کی بنائی حدیں پار تو نہیں کیں؟ وہ خواہش یا ارادہ کیسے صحیح ہو سکتا ہے جسکی تکمیل کے لئے خدا کی بنائی حدوں کو توڑنا پڑے۔ وہ فیصلے کیسے درست ہوسکتے ہیں جن کی بنیاد خدا کی رضا کے بجائے نفس کی خواہشات ہوں۔یہاں سوال اس بات کا نہیں کہ ان لمحات کے احساسات کیا تھے بلکہ یہ ہے کہ اعمال درست تھے یا غلط۔

کبھی کبھار واپس مڑ کر دیکھنا بھی اچھا ہوتاہے، تاکہ تزکیہ نفس ہوسکے۔ لیکن اسکے لئے ضروری ہے کہ کم از کم یہ احساس تو ہو کہ غلطی تھی۔ ہم لوگ دوسروں کو اور ترازو سے تولتے ہیں اور اپنے لئے ہمارے معیار کچھ اور ہوتے ہیں ۔ اوروں کو تو شاید ہم ان غلطیوں کے لئے جو ہم نے خود بھی کی، کبھی معاف نہیں کرتے۔

کیوں لوگ اپنے تعلقات سے خوش نظر نہیں آتے۔ کیوں اِدھر ادھر سکون ڈھونڈتے پھرتے ہیں لیکن گھروں میں سکون تلاش نہیں کرتے؟ بنیاد ہے نفس اور اسکی خواہشات۔ جب انسان اپنی زندگی کو خدا کی رضا کے بجائے خواہشات کے طابع کریں گے تو یہی ہوگا۔ ا…
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Somber Eid

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A day before Eid Pakistan gave us a gift, the gift of burning our houses and killing 2 young children, an unborn child and an elderly lady. The gift of celebrating & dancing in the streets on the deaths of our loved ones, the gift of indifference of the Pakistani media & the people, the gift of going to our mosques to pray, under the shadows of guns.

This Eid when I woke up to get ready I was in a somber mood, the news of the babies killed by Pakistan last night, the images fresh in my mind, I knew I wasn't going to the Aqsa mosque (the central mosque) where there would be thousands of people and the sweet smell of perfume would make the cool morning air even fresher, all that seems like a distant memory now and a younger generation is already here that hasn't seen an Eid like that ever.

No Those days are gone now. When we used to go to our mosques (places of worship) without the shadows of guns. I was going to the mosque just a few houses away from my house due to ter…
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