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Showing posts with the label About Me

You know nothing

You talk about depth As if you've seen the ocean My ocean You say the word abyss As if you have tasted despair My Despair You ache with pain As if you've seen whats inside My heart But you never stay As if that is what you fear My love How can you say As if you understand My life

I give up

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I give up I'm tired of fighting the odds I'm tired of hoping I'm tired of constant defeat Why fight  if you're going to loose anyway Drifting like a speck of dust we are Useless afloat Devoid of any purpose Meaningless Existing cause we can I'm sick of trying  When the game is rigged What if I just stopped playing What if I just cease to exist No wrinkle on anyones brow I'm sure I want to scream till my lungs explode And with those vibrations this Body turns to dust  Perhaps then this solitary will end Don't pretend to ask I know you don't care really You relish someone else's suffering Makes you feel good about yourself Let me be stuck  In this black hole Where life is sucked out of you With every breath I'm tired  I'm Broken

What I write about

This is my canvas where I paint with words, it was never intended to be a "text book". These are my thoughts and feelings, a way for me to process things, I have written countless words since forever, on excess, on superficiality on apparent contradictions in what we practice and what we preach. I genuinely believe that in this age our younger generation has lost the ability to do critical thinking. We revel on whats on the surface, our lives a mere projection for others to consume, nothing deep or meaningful, reduced to empty instagram posts in essence, mimicking the same done by others countless times before, we have lost the ability to recognize whats really important, our projection is more important to us than the inner peace that simplicity brings.  I know these conclusions come with time. Not my business to judge or impose my world view on anyone, thats not the reason of writing these words. I write because there is no other way for me to fathom the decay I see in mora

Secret

Words are so useless Words don't hide the pain There are those we blame Even dont let them explain Here we go again, again Riding in circles, again Truth hiding in sights plain Just a bunch of lies remain All the secrets hidden away Heart longs the unexplained a secret when written For anyone to obtain In the depth of despair It's the inside that rains I am at end of my tether The end beckons I'm game

Empire State of Mind

Don't read this, it maybe gibberish to you but its the state Im in. I feel like all that's bottled up in me needs an outlet. I write poems without context but I don't want to give context either. Its like part of me wants to tell the world my story and a part of me just wants to forget.  I look around and the superficiality is painful. I see mockups of what real people used to be. I see relics of what once was exciting. Sometimes I want to scream at the top of my lungs and name names of those who wronged me, who stood there and did nothing when they could have stopped what was right in front of them.  But they took sides, I don't want to see their faces anymore but I can't escape, stuck here in this prison, this black hole. This  city just sucks the life out of you.  But thats just one stream of thought that haunts my mind, there are others, a blend of disgust and indignant resignation.  People running ... just running towards what they can get, possessions... or st

Crush

Listening to this sick beat takes me to another place to carefree days of youth a thought made my heart race oblivious of time and space searching for an embrace wanting to be loved for the first time in case so turn up the bass turn up the bass let me feel it again her state of grace making up those excuses for a visit to her place memories of the first crush one can never replace so turn up the bass turn up the bass let me feel it again her state of grace

ہمارے سجن ہمارے اپنے

ہمارے سجن ہمارے اپنے! ہم لوگ ایک دوسرے کے دوست ،رشتہ دار، خیر خواہ ۔شاید یہ سب خام خیالی ہی ہے۔ کیونکہ جب بھی انسان کو قریب سے دیکھنے کا موقع ملا کہیں نہ کہیں خود غرضی ہی نظر آئی۔  مقابلہ تو ہم کرتے ہی ہیں ۔ اسکے پاس یہ ہےتو میرے پاس یہ ذیادہ بہتر ہے۔ لیکن مجھے جو بات سب سے ذیادہ تکلیف دیتی ہے وہ یہ کہ جب لوگ (شایداپنے) جھوٹ بولتے ہیں اور ہم سب کچھ جانتے ہوئے بھی ان کو وہ کرنے دیتے ہیں جو وہ چاہتے ہیں۔ مجھے تکلیف ہوتی ہے جب لوگوں کے ”معصوم“ سوال بظاہر اتفاقی ہوتے ہیں لیکن جب یہ اتفاق ایک ہی طرح کے حالات میں بار بار ہوں تو وہ اتفاق نہیں بلکہ منصوبہ بند ی کی نشاندہی کرتے ہیں۔ انسان سوچنے لگتا ہے آخر کیوں ۔۔۔ اسنے ان کا کیا بگاڑا ہے جو ان کو جھوٹ اور فریب کا سہارا لینا  پڑا ۔ دل تو یہی کہتا ہے کہ تم جن لوگوں کو اپنا سجن سمجھ بیٹھے تھے وہ کبھی تھے ہی نہیں۔ اور اب جب انسان اپنے ماضی کی طرف دیکھتاہے تو اسے  یقین ہوتا جاتاہے کہ ان لوگوں نے کبھی بھی اسکا ساتھ نہیں دیا۔ تب بھی جب اس نے ان سے مدد مانگی اور تب بھی جب وہ دکھ کی انتہائی گہرائیوں میں تھا۔ تو اب کیسے دینگے۔جو لوگ دوسروں ک

Ode to Parents

When you were a child Every sight wondrous Every sound marvellous Every new day joyous On along the way you lost Sweet happiness naive Innocence That Something irreplaceable The inner light so incredible A love too unconditional Eyes closed in mother's lap fragile visage indestructible Nothing felt impossible Embrace of a father lifting a child feeling low Reassuring and sublime There for him all the time Still can hear those prayers That were meant for you As you lay down at night Mother's arm pillow just right Instilled with love & affection Values & virtues live on The sum of all nurture when love becomes nature

High on Toxic

There is a pulsar shining next door emptiness to the core you adore Sit close to me on the roof take a selfie projected life what someone else sees Hallow words, hearts, hollow dreams do what it takes to drown the screams Hear my self breathing high on toxic letting empty thoughts corrode logic See them choose the highest pedestal for their ego self praise is so essential Why does one forget the dust in the end seems distant but is just a split second Why does the heart grow cold like ice lost virtues with the roll of times dice Echoes of words that vanish in the air trying to find a way out of despair Not easy going back to the very start takes longer mending a shattered heart

Status update

write these words to the tune lets take a ride to the moon forget those impy scorny faces lets look for grandeur in traces she says log off return to me plenty of places where we can be thirsty crow is the story in the books world keeps us hanging with hooks hand me that picture they stole suspended reality in a broken soul happiness a moments endeavour the bitter truth sorrows are forever this song Im singing has no end hymn of the broken ascend blurred screams in the background muted compassion makes no sound numbness of the heart beckons happy to wear these shackles stagnated I can no longer relate emotions compressed status update take my hand for I need you now take a walk with me in the snow you're the respite I always wanted certainly a wish that got granted

Look at what you've done

Look at what you've done - A #visual #poem by Naeem Ahmad Sabir pic.twitter.com/XsDR2Gfsk9 — Naeem Ahmad Sabir (@cybegeek) October 23, 2016 look at where you've been all the love & pain seen lessons of life come undone look at what you've done still you've learnt nothing still you don't listen desires have you in prison in chains that glisten you're hollow at the inside pretend smiles at the outside you preach perfect devotion secret dirt brushed aside someone has to place a mirror to your face how hideous you've become greed lust pride disgrace your worship is theatrical your love is superficial heart made of black stone your life is just artificial

Mediocrity The New Norm

The reality of living in this world, a conflict between the needs and wishes deeply anchored in the class divide. I see mediocrity so permanently imbued in the collective psyche.  Sometimes all one can do is to give in to the mundane, stop living & just exist. Finding someone to have an offbeat, real meaningful conversation, an impossibility. I sought refuge in the social media for some time, but that too has become stale, tedious. A habit without any emotional reward. The interaction, all but reduced to regurgitation of bent opinions and trumpeting of political agenda or some religious doctrine, manipulation. No one questions anymore, no one has time to think for himself and arrive on conclusions, perhaps wrong but his own. This place has no respite, no open space to just sit and ponder. One wonders is it by design? The whole system built on repression, on exploitation, the divide, easily seen. Yet the rituals of allegiance continue, conditioning the masses not to question. A

My Mother - Amtul Hafeez Begum

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September 11 2000 is the day my mother passed away after fighting cancer for 4 years. I have never known anyone more gentle & kind than her.  I have seen her in pain, but never once did I see her complain. Her patience was remarkable.  Now that I'm older and understand certain things, I see that there aren’t many people like her in this world. My brother Tanweer Sabir from UK recalls his memories, Ami, as he used to call her with effection, writes, "I have known her for her gentleness and kindness for her family and also for others. A very very brave women she was indeed. The way she fought cancer till the depart, with strong will and faith in Alllah. She knew all along what was going to happen, always encouraged her children to pray for her. I remember her, always smiling and prayers on her lips for us. I deeply miss those prayers, kindness and affection."  She helped so many without hurting their dignity, would send them money via me or herself and alway

Gratitude

Coming to terms with the new realities of life is never easy. For those who need closure and can't get it, this road becomes even more treacherous. For those looking for solace from words it becomes apparent that words can can only at best be a temporary respite. For true peace of mind can only come from within, from the realisation that this life is just a mere illusion of permanence and nothing lasts for ever. The only truth eternal is death. Those who seek meaning find it in the smallest details and those who love the ignorance cannot see even if the truth stands affront. Like most of us I was a believer but had no actual experience of the existence of the almighty and wanted something that would bring everything into focus, that realisation came last year. I have never felt despair like I felt When I was at Sharjah bus terminal where I got the news of the accident of my wife & children back home, for some time I was just numb, didn't know what to do, where

The Ritual

I put on those clothes that I bought the day I came back cause I wanted them to see me as you would. Quickly I get ready for I want to see you so badly.  Spray that perfume you would have liked...  My daily ritual of sorts... I know it is getting late... soon the sun would be no more and I standing alone in the darkness. So much to tell you... So much to say and hear... They say it's weird that I smile sometimes. They judge me from afar.  Perhaps they can only see what's written...  Perhaps reading  between the lines is a lost art. They can't see my eyes when someone says your name...  How can they.... As the time for us to meet goes near my heart shudders recalling the past...  Words said... Not said.... And fears...  Questions... They still remain unanswered. Will remain for eternity... As I walk towards you I know you can't see me.  I don't wish anymore cause I know there is nothing left when they come true...  You were my wish that came true. I reach t

Falling

useless empty life worthless words echo in my mind over and over again we run this circle over and over we fall could it be that this time you'll pick me up could it be that this time you'll take my hand as I see you pass me by heart aches with the distance you never look back not even once heart aches with every footstep taking us further apart memories left behind of a beautiful start

Why not write about the things I love - (Music)

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So you know that I like science now... but that not all that I love, the other most cherished experience of my life is music. I loved music ... since from the earliest memories I have. Its mostly due to the Radio Behrain tapes that my sister made and what my brothers listened to. My Dad had a very good record collection and he was more into listening to classical stuff K.L Sehgal, Habib Wali Mohd. so the music I heard all the time ranged from The Beetles to the raag rang program that came on ptv late at night and in between Abba, BoneyM, Micheal Jackson, Dire Strights, Madonna but then came MTV and Channel V and MCM and all kinds of Music channels on Satellite I admit I dont really know that much about music genres as such ... but I know a good tune when I hear one... most of my friends say that I listen to a particular tune or album long before it becomes popular ... here is a little screenshot of my music (just the albums section) at my hdd at the moment ... Click to see a

Fun Times

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One day in the sixth or seventh grade I came back from school and got straight to bed. The fun began when I woke up. I totally forgot about my day and thought it was morning again and My dad had real fun with that he started saying you better get ready for school and have breakfast and I was like hey I went to bed in my uniform and I wont have to put it on again... ;) so about 1/2 an hour later I realized that I had been had... when Dad turned on the television. My dad was a fun loving man and most of the events I remember of my childhood when I went somewhere for a picnic or something were all arranged by him and mostly paid for by him as well. He loved to see his family having fun. One time we went to the river side. We had all kinds of Bar BQ stuff with us and we were 16-18 people all stuck in our volvo station wagon, we would just turn the seats down and all of us would go in... anyway when we started up our BarBQ there the aroma started to spread. There were a bunch of guyz pl

Why not write about the things I love

So I was thinking why not write about the things I love instead of what I hate, so heres my 1st try. Remember its something new to me :D so It may end up like all of the other posts, so be warned! Well the thing I love the most is science ... why? because it tells you the true nature of things it doesn't lie or has other intentions, its plain and simple facts, sometimes brutal and rough I know but still there is no silver lining or an agenda. So most of the other things that I love or like stem from science, like science fiction. I believe that by imagining the future we make it happen, for example when Gene Roddenberry first made start trek most of the technology shown in the program was there just as gimmick and no thought was put into it that it had roots in actual science but here we are almost 40 years later and most of the things imagined in the program are in our daily use now. The talking computer, mobile fones, hand held computers, tablets, needle less syringes, all so

How I started writing

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For as long as I can remember I loved stories... the school library, the stories Daddy used to bring from Lahore or Karachi, Tarzan, Imran Rehan Series, Nonehal, Sherlock Holmes etc. etc. I even wrote one sci-fi story when I was in 4th or 5th class then there were the aural story sessions in the recess time in school, a bunch of my friends would gather around and listen to my stories... and these were spontaneous on the spot creations I would just ask them where did the story end and then start from there... In high school I was more into poetry than writing stories and stuff. I would never claim my self to be a poet or a writer though... its just release...  I really wish to write something profound but I dunno ... I started writing blog like notes in a Star Trek LCARS inspired program called Holonote in 2000 most of that stuff I used here and there in my blog when I started blogging... but much of it remains hidden cause well ... I just cant put that here... its too personal a