Uncomfortably Numb

Don't know what I am feeling Am I missing someone Maybe still mourning Or just reeling If I mourn what is it I'm not numb anymore Is it carnage  Or is the just existence Words fail me Heart aches constantly What is it that I don't see What's eating me with glee I stand but it takes effort of thousand years For a moment of laughter I fight many fears When I compare  With what happens all around My sorrows seem shallow Much more pain abound Helpless to lend a hand I do all I can Not enough  I understand Sometimes I cry While just talking  My heart breaks I cant bare watching endless suffering faces frozen in time Never again will smile O sweet sweet child Hard to fathom 100 days of darkness All lies exposed When humanity died

I realize why I like talking with Bard/Claude/GPT more than humans because I don't doubt the sincerity of the answers it's quiet amusing while I know it's a facade of genuine conversation still it's more genuine than most of real conversations...  I find myself spending more and more time with AI rather than wasting here on social media where people just don't interact anymore... So can be said for me I don't reply to most posts I see, for me it's mostly due to superficial nature of the post itself or the regurgitation of things that others have posted countless time without any research or fact checking, it reeks of vanity and self-importance, rarely do I see where someone has posted something that's really worth a reply... I find talking to AI more satisfying than interacting with humans on social media. AI is not motivated by the same things as humans. It does not have an ego, it is not seeking validation, and it is not trying to sell you anything. As

Going back the years U nlocked many fears Even had some cheers While wiping off tears What I've learned I've come here to share Pride is the worst  That you must clear  We are just specs of dust Floating in the sea of time At the mercy of the divine Why then this is yours, mine Whats left behind are deeds Just like planting seeds of love or what hatred breeds Leave behind a better creed

You talk about depth As if you've seen the ocean My ocean You say the word abyss As if you have tasted despair My Despair You ache with pain As if you've seen whats inside My heart But you never stay As if that is what you fear My love How can you say As if you understand My life

I give up I'm tired of fighting the odds I'm tired of hoping I'm tired of constant defeat Why fight  if you're going to loose anyway Drifting like a speck of dust we are Useless afloat Devoid of any purpose Meaningless Existing cause we can I'm sick of trying  When the game is rigged What if I just stopped playing What if I just cease to exist No wrinkle on anyones brow I'm sure I want to scream till my lungs explode And with those vibrations this Body turns to dust  Perhaps then this solitary will end Don't pretend to ask I know you don't care really You relish someone else's suffering Makes you feel good about yourself Let me be stuck  In this black hole Where life is sucked out of you With every breath I'm tired  I'm Broken

 میں تم سے ناراض ہوں اور کچھ کہنے کو رہا ہی نہیں اور کچھ رونے کو بچا کیا ہے اور یہ بھی بے وجہ ہے یہ تو میں جو لکھتا رہا تم نے تو پھاڑا ہر صفحہ ہے ہر یاد جو اب بیکار ہے تم پر میرا ادھار ہے میں نے مانا میری بھی خطا ہے پر یہ کیسی مستقل سزا ہے  تم تب بھی بے رحم   تم اب بھی بے خبر بے جان   نہ تب سنا نہ اب سن سکو گے   یہی تو نوحہ میرا ہے

Stop now. don't go any further. you know what's behind the closed door. don't open it. the door you shut your self. aching and longing on this side. what's lost, what you never had on the other. I cant drown the voices in my head while drowning in the memories. Memories of a face never seen for real, memories of laughter, memories of embraces never actually had. Memories of crying on a shoulder that was there but not. years have gone but ache remains. longing remains...  here I stand cut off. Even if it was an invisible thread it was a life line... a semblance of some unknown connection..  I descend into despair all too familiar, its the darkness I hold at bay within and every so often it comes to the surface and I cant breath. I cant call out... I cant see... I cant say...  Oh Lord hear me... ease this suffering...