Uncomfortably Numb

Can't run can't hide, fear resides Blood sweeps bruised hides Wounded battered can't speak No one cares none hear cries Minarets of hatred rise high Pretence abound, the soul dies Looking for solace from idols Following the path made of lies Boundless abyss of ignorance They fall oblivious of demise Friend or foe cognition forsaken Bare deception clouds naive eyes Those who seek truth find it Absolution comes to the wise Love for All Hatred for None Answer stares you in the eyes

You have come into my life like a blessing You make me feel love which I was missing You are like a beautiful rose a flower Sweet scent of your love is spreading You have engulfed my heart and my soul Silenced my cries and laughter is all I'm hearing How I love u I wish I could explain How could I resist some one as u are caring

Wish I could just vanish Silently without a whisper Into nothingness Without pain Without memories How I long for you Loving someone You can never hold Never look in the eyes Sweet perfume on you clothes Is fading..... so is my will You said no one dies with someone You were right... This is worse Wish I could just fade I can't bare your not being there

How materialistic ambition dictates the human condition is mind boggling. How everyday we are presented sugar coated lies and we relish the ignorance and forbid knowledge & understanding surrendering the will to question. How they cheer... A fabric of pretty lies to blind them and their masters drip their very souls till the very last of humanity bleeds. How they suffer and no one sees cause all they want to see is the facade of blissful ignorance which they love cause there is safety in burying their heads in the sand. How I mourn the plight of my brothers who have no voice and are condemned to a destiny of oblivious slavery to the worship of new idols. They cannot comprehend the trap which invites them with glitter. All they see is their idols... Whom they worship without question. Wish they could see beyond the lies... Beyond the facade what hideous faces await to devour their very existence into oblivion... Still they March on.... Consumed by their mindless idol wors

Those eyes filled with wonder Without a word said so much journey was just beginning you had the kind the gentle touch You were Personified innocence Everything about you was such Sat beside me when I would pray understood without saying much you made me proud only if I could say If words convey I love you how much Happy birthday my son. I know these words don't do you justice. I can never find words that could explain what you meant to me and how empty I feel without you and how you make me proud. May you rest in eternal peace. Rohan Ahmad Numair 2003 - 2013

Today as the Jalsa UK 2013 is about to start , the mind is full of memories of moments spent. This time the focus of these memories is the Jalsa Salana that was held in Rabwah. My memories are conflicted between two emotions, one is filled with the beautiful mements of Jalsa Rabwah and the second is the fire of longing that burns in my heart which is reignited when I start to remember, its like a thirst which cannot be replenished & the reason for that is, like so many others I am of that generation which has not witnessed the Jalsa Rabwah in its full glory. There are a few vague memories, which are blurred by the limitations of childhood. Going through the streets of Rabwah when one passes in front of the different Langar Khanas in every Mohallah of Rabwah one cannot help but wonder at the hustle and bustle these places would have seen and what our elders tell us about. 1983. The last ever Jalsa held in Rabwah, the last time a populous of more than 250,000 made Rabwah

I put on those clothes that I bought the day I came back cause I wanted them to see me as you would. Quickly I get ready for I want to see you so badly.  Spray that perfume you would have liked...  My daily ritual of sorts... I know it is getting late... soon the sun would be no more and I standing alone in the darkness. So much to tell you... So much to say and hear... They say it's weird that I smile sometimes. They judge me from afar.  Perhaps they can only see what's written...  Perhaps reading  between the lines is a lost art. They can't see my eyes when someone says your name...  How can they.... As the time for us to meet goes near my heart shudders recalling the past...  Words said... Not said.... And fears...  Questions... They still remain unanswered. Will remain for eternity... As I walk towards you I know you can't see me.  I don't wish anymore cause I know there is nothing left when they come true...  You were my wish that came true. I reach t

Today I will wear a smile I will pretend your there in the morning To wake me up To get my clothes ready I will pretend you're there to greet me I will taste the sweets you've made I will hear your laughter I will praise you on the way you look I will meet people as you would I wish pretending was easy I wish I could do what I said I would

Days have gone since I Saw your face smiling at me That last goodbye wish it lingered Your sweet voice calling for me I look at your side of the bed Teary eyes have nothing to see You were crazy sometimes Sometimes sweet just for me Every second I fight back misery For the one thats looking at me I can't fathom living without you But that's the way I have to be You were God's precious gift Which no one else can ever be I close my eyes and I see you In my heart you'll forever be

O Allah the almighty Hear my cries See the tears I weep Save me There's none else that I seek For I am torn Shattered The ache hidden I keep Great is your name Sublime is your magnificence True is your word All the promises you keep Vast is your kingdom Over countless dimensions Infinite is your knowledge Boundless is your mercy Pray forgive me my lord For my sins I am but a speck of dust At the mercy of your wish

How can I remember you How can I capture in words What you were to me, are to me How can I say to you How looking at you made my day How can I write in words How my world shattered when you left How can I even begin to imagine a life without you How can I, not see you everyday and Not feel my soul evaporate How can I see someone in love and not lament what I've lost How can I walk these roads where we used to walk How can I bare these walls which still echo your voice How can I laugh when your not here to share it How can I breath When your not here to hear it How can I tell the story Where is my happy ending

Your voice woke me up Only to find an empty space You were beautiful elegance For me Personified grace Every moment your reflections I see your kind and gentle face All that's left are memories  An ache for the heart to embrace You shone and made my life bright With light which nothing can replace

All praise is for Allah For He is the one Who can save u From the rain From the lowest depths From lingering pain My tears are for u o Allah For you are the one Who gave me the test Of loosing the one a gem among the rest My lips will only say your praise While my heart weeps While my eyes betray a tear I see the gift I'm left with The little angel for me to keep For I endured all u gave me With patience and faith I have stood with head held high But I am a speck of dust At the mercy of your wish Pray be kind for you're all merciful You're the one who gives plentiful When we don't even ask I submit my self o God For a contented life For this sweet angel A never fading smile That's all I ask

All I wanted to say was goodbye To hold you for one last time To hear your heart beat To remember once you were mine Can't fathom the Distance more than what's between us Can't bear the silence Echoes of words said once I laughed today at my sadness Perhaps the answer, madness Perhaps if I close my eyes Would end dreaming darkness It's not easy forever waiting When I know your not coming How to make the heart understand How to stop this perpetual yearning Nothing soothes nothing eases the pain even stopped searching reasons to blame All the roads traveled together in vain Story of love lost never to be found again

All left to do is to cry the one last goodbye cant take back words how hard you may try when love is not enough how can life go on, get by getting harder to breath heart stumbles asking why tear soaked the pillow none touched your eye said you hated this face which once made you high this pain wont go away wishing could just vanish, die.

No one said a word when the target of persecution were Ahmadis. No one cared because they agreed! They kept quiet or even cheered while mothers mourned their sons and sons buried their fathers. The terrorists went on and started cutting throats and still you kept quiet. The bitter truth is that you and I are to blame for the current situation in Pakistan. The ones doing all this are from within us. Why didn't we stop a molvi [cleric] when he preached hatred in his sermon? Why didn't a crowd stop just a few who were beating a man to death? Once when they caught a vicious murderer and asked him his last wish before death he asked for his mother and when she came he tried to bite her ear off... today these terrorists are biting our ears off. Persecution, discrimination, cruelty and brutality under any guise cannot be justified. Once the dominoes of persecution start falling, every segment of society eventually falls. The sword wielded in the name of Jihad has take

All around, I see marriages breaking up & a general sense of unhappiness in those marriages which do manage to survive, among many old and known reasons some new ones present themselves. One of the reasons is accessibility, accessibility via technology be it internet or mobile phones or any other means of modern communication & its relative concealed nature has made the prospect of promiscuous behavior within reach. But technology is just a means, what really needs to be addressed is what social and emotional tendencies are behind such behavior. In pakistani society the biggest change that has accrued in the last 20 years or so is the so called opening up of the media reaching into our living rooms. With this influx and saturation of media and the desire to get higher revenues the media has silently abandoned any effort to educate or uphold any semblance of moral decency. What this in turn is preaching is an invitation to decadence and glamorizing wanton behavior to a p

You made me say those words With your soothing kindness Don't wish to lead you astray Don't wish to ensue blindness Your words fill up my senses You give love eternal timeless Happiness may u always have Smiling brimming contentness If I could give more than words Choices shackle lips to silence

As he moved on, the distinction between right and wrong became increasingly blurry and he got lost in his emotions, those feelings suppressed for so long began to surface. While the thrill exhilarated him he was also afraid but not for long. As he fell further and further into the abyss of his emotional vacuum he lost the sensation of fear to a new sensation of being wanted. This sensation became stronger by the minute overwhelming his persona, hit him with fill force of a tsunami. He hoped this would wash away and hide his tears but he couldn't trust anyone anymore... even himself. Was he foolish perhaps yes... but what could he do when faced with a choice between relentless rejection or soothing promise of love. He tries to walk the tightrope ... which he knows leads to chaos ...