Showing posts from 2013

Minarets of Hatred

Can't run can't hide, fear resides
Blood sweeps bruised hides

Wounded battered can't speak
No one cares none hear cries

Minarets of hatred rise high
Pretence abound, the soul dies

Looking for solace from idols
Following the path made of lies

Boundless abyss of ignorance
They fall oblivious of demise

Friend or foe cognition forsaken
Bare deception clouds naive eyes

Those who seek truth find it
Absolution comes to the wise

Love for All Hatred for None
Answer stares you in the eyes


You have come into my life like a blessing
You make me feel love which I was missing

You are like a beautiful rose a flower
Sweet scent of your love is spreading

You have engulfed my heart and my soul
Silenced my cries and laughter is all I'm hearing

How I love u I wish I could explain
How could I resist some one as u are caring


Wish I could just vanish
Silently without a whisper

Into nothingness
Without pain
Without memories

How I long for you
Loving someone
You can never hold
Never look in the eyes

Sweet perfume on you clothes
Is fading..... so is my will

You said no one dies with someone
You were right... This is worse

Wish I could just fade
I can't bare your not being there

The New Idol Worship

How materialistic ambition dictates the human condition is mind boggling. How everyday we are presented sugar coated lies and we relish the ignorance and forbid knowledge & understanding surrendering the will to question.

How they cheer... A fabric of pretty lies to blind them and their masters drip their very souls till the very last of humanity bleeds.

How they suffer and no one sees cause all they want to see is the facade of blissful ignorance which they love cause there is safety in burying their heads in the sand.

How I mourn the plight of my brothers who have no voice and are condemned to a destiny of oblivious slavery to the worship of new idols.

They cannot comprehend the trap which invites them with glitter. All they see is their idols... Whom they worship without question.

Wish they could see beyond the lies... Beyond the facade what hideous faces await to devour their very existence into oblivion... Still they March on.... Consumed by their mindless idol worship.

We dwell in…

Those eyes filled with wonder

Those eyes filled with wonder
Without a word said so much

journey was just beginning
you had the kind the gentle touch

You were Personified innocence
Everything about you was such

Sat beside me when I would pray
understood without saying much

you made me proud only if I could say
If words convey I love you how much

Happy birthday my son. I know these words don't do you justice. I can never find words that could explain what you meant to me and how empty I feel without you and how you make me proud.

May you rest in eternal peace.

Rohan Ahmad Numair
2003 - 2013

3 Days to Remember (The Last Jalsa Salana in Rabwah)

Today as the Jalsa UK 2013 is about to start , the mind is full of memories of moments spent. This time the focus of these memories is the Jalsa Salana that was held in Rabwah.

My memories are conflicted between two emotions, one is filled with the beautiful mements of Jalsa Rabwah and the second is the fire of longing that burns in my heart which is reignited when I start to remember, its like a thirst which cannot be replenished & the reason for that is, like so many others I am of that generation which has not witnessed the Jalsa Rabwah in its full glory. There are a few vague memories, which are blurred by the limitations of childhood.

Going through the streets of Rabwah when one passes in front of the different Langar Khanas in every Mohallah of Rabwah one cannot help but wonder at the hustle and bustle these places would have seen and what our elders tell us about.

1983. The last ever Jalsa held in Rabwah, the last time a populous of more than 250,000 made Rabwah their host. Th…

The Ritual

I put on those clothes that I bought the day I came back cause I wanted them to see me as you would. Quickly I get ready for I want to see you so badly.  Spray that perfume you would have liked...  My daily ritual of sorts... I know it is getting late... soon the sun would be no more and I standing alone in the darkness. So much to tell you... So much to say and hear...

They say it's weird that I smile sometimes. They judge me from afar.  Perhaps they can only see what's written...  Perhaps reading  between the lines is a lost art. They can't see my eyes when someone says your name...  How can they....

As the time for us to meet goes near my heart shudders recalling the past...  Words said... Not said.... And fears...  Questions... They still remain unanswered. Will remain for eternity...

As I walk towards you I know you can't see me.  I don't wish anymore cause I know there is nothing left when they come true...  You were my wish that came true.

I reach the place…

Today I will wear a smile

Today I will wear a smile

I will pretend your there in the morning
To wake me up
To get my clothes ready

I will pretend you're there to greet me
I will taste the sweets you've made

I will hear your laughter
I will praise you on the way you look
I will meet people as you would

I wish pretending was easy
I wish I could do what I said I would


Days have gone since I
Saw your face smiling at me

That last goodbye wish it lingered
Your sweet voice calling for me

I look at your side of the bed
Teary eyes have nothing to see

You were crazy sometimes
Sometimes sweet just for me

Every second I fight back misery
For the one thats looking at me

I can't fathom living without you
But that's the way I have to be

You were God's precious gift
Which no one else can ever be

I close my eyes and I see you
In my heart you'll forever be

Dua (A Prayer)

O Allah the almighty
Hear my cries
See the tears I weep
Save me
There's none else that I seek

For I am torn
The ache hidden I keep

Great is your name
Sublime is your magnificence
True is your word
All the promises you keep

Vast is your kingdom
Over countless dimensions
Infinite is your knowledge
Boundless is your mercy

Pray forgive me my lord
For my sins
I am but a speck of dust
At the mercy of your wish

How can I remember you

How can I remember you
How can I capture in words
What you were to me, are to me

How can I say to you
How looking at you made my day

How can I write in words
How my world shattered when you left

How can I even begin to imagine
a life without you

How can I, not see you everyday and
Not feel my soul evaporate

How can I see someone in love and
not lament what I've lost

How can I walk these roads
where we used to walk

How can I bare these walls
which still echo your voice

How can I laugh when your
not here to share it

How can I breath
When your not here to hear it

How can I tell the story
Where is my happy ending

Rest in peace

Your voice woke me up Only to find an empty space
You were beautiful elegance For me Personified grace
Every moment your reflections I see your kind and gentle face
All that's left are memories  An ache for the heart to embrace
You shone and made my life bright With light which nothing can replace

A prayer

All praise is for Allah
For He is the one
Who can save u
From the rain
From the lowest depths
From lingering pain

My tears are for u o Allah
For you are the one
Who gave me the test
Of loosing the one
a gem among the rest

My lips will only say your praise
While my heart weeps
While my eyes betray a tear
I see the gift I'm left with
The little angel for me to keep

For I endured all u gave me
With patience and faith
I have stood with head held high
But I am a speck of dust
At the mercy of your wish

Pray be kind for you're all merciful
You're the one who gives plentiful
When we don't even ask
I submit my self o God
For a contented life
For this sweet angel
A never fading smile
That's all I ask

All I wanted to say was goodbye

All I wanted to say was goodbye
To hold you for one last time
To hear your heart beat
To remember once you were mine

Can't fathom the Distance
more than what's between us
Can't bear the silence
Echoes of words said once

I laughed today at my sadness
Perhaps the answer, madness
Perhaps if I close my eyes
Would end dreaming darkness

It's not easy forever waiting
When I know your not coming
How to make the heart understand
How to stop this perpetual yearning

Nothing soothes nothing eases the pain
even stopped searching reasons to blame
All the roads traveled together in vain
Story of love lost never to be found again

Words Said...

All left to do is to cry
the one last goodbye

cant take back words
how hard you may try

when love is not enough
how can life go on, get by

getting harder to breath
heart stumbles asking why

tear soaked the pillow
none touched your eye

said you hated this face
which once made you high

this pain wont go away
wishing could just vanish, die.

The Changing Face of Hypocrisy

No one said a word when the target of persecution were Ahmadis. No one cared because they agreed!

They kept quiet or even cheered while mothers mourned their sons and sons buried their fathers. The terrorists went on and started cutting throats and still you kept quiet.

The bitter truth is that you and I are to blame for the current situation in Pakistan. The ones doing all this are from within us.

Why didn't we stop a molvi [cleric] when he preached hatred in his sermon? Why didn't a crowd stop just a few who were beating a man to death?

Once when they caught a vicious murderer and asked him his last wish before death he asked for his mother and when she came he tried to bite her ear off... today these terrorists are biting our ears off.

Persecution, discrimination, cruelty and brutality under any guise cannot be justified. Once the dominoes of persecution start falling, every segment of society eventually falls. The sword wielded in the name of Jihad has taken many an assum…

The Declining Sanctity of Marriage in Pakistani Society

All around, I see marriages breaking up & a general sense of unhappiness in those marriages which do manage to survive, among many old and known reasons some new ones present themselves.

One of the reasons is accessibility, accessibility via technology be it internet or mobile phones or any other means of modern communication & its relative concealed nature has made the prospect of promiscuous behavior within reach.

But technology is just a means, what really needs to be addressed is what social and emotional tendencies are behind such behavior. In pakistani society the biggest change that has accrued in the last 20 years or so is the so called opening up of the media reaching into our living rooms.

With this influx and saturation of media and the desire to get higher revenues the media has silently abandoned any effort to educate or uphold any semblance of moral decency. What this in turn is preaching is an invitation to decadence and glamorizing wanton behavior to a point w…

You made me say those words

You made me say those words
With your soothing kindness

Don't wish to lead you astray
Don't wish to ensue blindness

Your words fill up my senses
You give love eternal timeless

Happiness may u always have
Smiling brimming contentness

If I could give more than words
Choices shackle lips to silence

The Tightrope of Chaos ...

As he moved on, the distinction between right and wrong became increasingly blurry and he got lost in his emotions, those feelings suppressed for so long began to surface. While the thrill exhilarated him he was also afraid but not for long. As he fell further and further into the abyss of his emotional vacuum he lost the sensation of fear to a new sensation of being wanted.

This sensation became stronger by the minute overwhelming his persona, hit him with fill force of a tsunami. He hoped this would wash away and hide his tears but he couldn't trust anyone anymore... even himself.

Was he foolish perhaps yes... but what could he do when faced with a choice between relentless rejection or soothing promise of love.

He tries to walk the tightrope ... which he knows leads to chaos ...