The Ritual

I put on those clothes that I bought the day I came back cause I wanted them to see me as you would. Quickly I get ready for I want to see you so badly.  Spray that perfume you would have liked...  My daily ritual of sorts... I know it is getting late... soon the sun would be no more and I standing alone in the darkness. So much to tell you... So much to say and hear...

They say it's weird that I smile sometimes. They judge me from afar.  Perhaps they can only see what's written...  Perhaps reading  between the lines is a lost art. They can't see my eyes when someone says your name...  How can they....

As the time for us to meet goes near my heart shudders recalling the past...  Words said... Not said.... And fears...  Questions... They still remain unanswered. Will remain for eternity...

As I walk towards you I know you can't see me.  I don't wish anymore cause I know there is nothing left when they come true...  You were my wish that came true.

I reach the place of our meeting....  I imagine you there...  Smiling....  Saying the things you used to say....  Loving in your own way. I imagine all of your crazy beautiful ways...  That stern look...  That nod of approval....

They say crying helps....  Perhaps it does for those who cry occasionally.... What of those hearts that never stop crying....  What of those eyes that keep searching...  What of those ears that keep waiting... Perhaps there's nothing worse than loosing the one you love...

Looking at the words that spell your name....

I sit beside your grave and pray.