Untouchable

I know what this pain is 
why it hurts when I close my eyes
I know why the heart aches 
I know why it burns when I try to remember 

For these are the tears that never came out 
For I kept waiting for someone to cry with
Searching for a shoulder to cry on

For I loved her like a mother 
didn't even let me see her face
How loathsome you are 
For humanity a disgrace 

Pity thy soul for it knows love not 
Pity thy life for it is all a loss

May she rest in peace 
For she sacrificed everything for you
May she be with loved ones
Far better than all of you

A few days ago one of my very close non Ahmadi relatives passed away when we went there we were treated like untouchables, It's surreal to be treated as outcasts or achoot in a house u grew up in, by those who don't even belong there... What's more hurtful is the silence and subtle distancing of those very close to you to appease others ... 

I have never felt hatred from others like that but only from these people before as well...  They told us not to come near our loved one, cause they had made her "pak" like we're some achoot (untouchable)... It was very insulting ...

Because we're Ahmadi & they're "official" Muslims. No one thought for a second that there was only one person with a real blood relation and that was me...  And they didn't even let me near her to see my aunt's face... I am writing this cause the only one this could hurt is gone now... and I am so glad that I will never have to see those people ever again...





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