Stop now. don't go any further. you know what's behind the closed door. don't open it. the door you shut your self. aching and longing on this side. what's lost, what you never had on the other. I cant drown the voices in my head while drowning in the memories. Memories of a face never seen for real, memories of laughter, memories of embraces never actually had. Memories of crying on a shoulder that was there but not. years have gone but ache remains. longing remains... 

here I stand cut off. Even if it was an invisible thread it was a life line... a semblance of some unknown connection.. 

I descend into despair all too familiar, its the darkness I hold at bay within and every so often it comes to the surface and I cant breath. I cant call out... I cant see... I cant say... 

Oh Lord hear me... ease this suffering... 


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