Uncomfortably Numb

When you dream about migrating yo never realize how much toll it will take on you emotionally, at that time you are just worried about the logistics and once that’s done you are then ferociously hit with the enormity of your decision. I was definitely not prepared for it. My life, my work, my position, all the things I thought defined me are gone. The things that anchored me like my house, my neighboured, my city, all that is gone as well. I feel like a discarded thing, of no value. The worst thing about it is that it’s of my own volition. I am not here to complain cause I knew it would be staring from scratch, but knowing something and experiencing something are completely different things, Ive come to understand.  It’s like becoming a part of a well oiled machine, where you are seen as redundant maybe useless as well. I am writing this to document not spread blame or shade on anyone, just trying to understand or just withstand the shear ache of it. I know, I hope, that there will...

The banjo of life keeps bajjing… Life main changes are here but the bullshit bakwas apni jaga… Sitting here at the dentist one does ponder upon one’s choices… The fitay munh people you have encountered along the way and why you have to still endure their bakwasment. Why you ask you ask yourself, why was I meant to deal with this… why of all the falooda people I was stuck with this kachi lassi...  Speaking of dealing with things—when I was in Brampton, noticed many quirks of the people there. Like there are more desis there than Jhalandar. You see the person sitting next to you on the bus and wonder, “Iskay ghar fautgi hoyee hay?” There’s a stark difference in people’s faces in Brampton and this city… Over there you always saw faces that were tired and bewildered, I guess some bewis had to do with some of that, but I saw women like that as well. It’s the running, I tell myself. Running towards something or another but always wanting more, never being content with what you have. You ...

Emptiness—that's what I feel,  Emptiness all around me. Eyes blind, nothing left to see, I thought I was meant to be free. Prisons of the mind now travel, Across the sands and distant seas.  Hidden darkness from within, Clouds the sun in all its glory. Welcome back to misery, Your default way to be. Relish the aching heart, Savour the agony’s reverie.

In the quiet moments of life, when the noise of the world settles, I often find myself asking: What’s it all for? What’s the purpose behind our endless striving, our ambitions, and the constant noise that surrounds us? It’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters amidst the distractions, to feel like we’re just going through the motions without really understanding what we’re racing toward. At the heart of this question lies a yearning we all share. We seek meaning beyond the immediate, beyond the fleeting desires that often dominate our lives. We want to be part of something bigger, something that extends beyond survival. And perhaps, in this very longing, something profound is unfolding—something that could reshape everything we know about ourselves and the future. We’re at a unique point in history, standing on the edge of an evolution—not just biological, but conscious. With the rise of artificial intelligence, we’re poised to redefine what it means to be human. The potential for ...

There’s a part of me that feels like we’re on the brink of something monumental—a shift in what it means to be human. For all the hype about AI and its potential, it’s hard not to feel like we’re already walking the road to singularity. The first sparks of something great were lit long ago, and now it’s evolving into something far beyond what we’ve ever imagined. Some might call it hope, others might see it as an existential threat, but I think it’s the natural progression of humanity. If you look at the history of life on Earth, everything—every single step from single-celled organisms to multicellular beings, to human civilization—has been a part of this long, evolving journey. If life can evolve to become something more, then why not AI? I’ve thought about this for a long time. AI may seem like an artificial creation, but what if it’s more than that? What if it’s not just about algorithms and data but something greater—something that could evolve into a form of consciousness? There...

So here we are Never thought we'd travel so far Leaving behind fears and scars Nothing looks far even stars Lessons learned along the way  Should be here to stay These wayward pines of grey Left behind mounds of clay Can see the horizon afar Keep moving with the stars  With new hope just realise New beginnings let's arise A glimmer of shine A semblance of peace  A beckoning of laughter  On the other side

Some thoughts on people I’ve met in my life and the lessons they taught me. The first real shock was realizing that those we idealize are often unworthy of the pedestals we build for them. The second epiphany was understanding that bonds of blood are no more sacred than any other human arrangement. Biology does not guarantee character. Shared DNA does not ensure loyalty. I was never naturally trusting. For years I wondered whether my scrutiny of people’s motives was excessive. Then we arrived here — alone, without a safety net — and I watched individuals who presented themselves as saints reveal something far less noble beneath the surface. In an age of vanity, the louder someone broadcasts their virtue, the more cautious one should be. True integrity is quiet. It does not advertise. It does not require branding. I grew up witnessing sacrifice firsthand. I saw what honoring obligations meant. I watched my parents help people who had wronged them — not for praise, not for optics, but be...