Uncomfortably Numb

For all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put humpty back together again. Life is like that. Somethings cannot be undone. Some wounds never heal and some debts can never be repaid. What I wish for is a life where I could just empty my head from all thoughts and just float in space like a dead rock traveling through space. We desire so much from life. work very little to achieve anything and then blame this and that for it. what is love what is hate. Why we are stuck with these emotions. Why do we need one or the other so much. There is no escape ... I envy the little mud worm so content in its existence. There are two kinds of people in this world .... The good guys and the bad guys. The good guys live in sweatness and honey. The bad guys end up getting all the money !!!!

Sweat memories of childhood As sweet as sweet could be The kindeling of love As pure as pure would be Stare as one might the moments past Can never be The first touch The first kiss Holding hands Sleepless nights thinking what could be time leaves nothing behind But a sweet memory Memory of the first love which no one else can ever be _____ I named it Not so random thoughts but then its not that easy to find... so changing name to sweet memories of childhood.

Been working at MTA International for more then 5 years. Its High time I share with you how it felt and feels. So here it is my blog about my time at MTA International Pakistan Studios.   http://mta-expanse.blogspot.com    

http://cybegeek-grim.blogspot.com/   Check it out ...

These days been very busy. Yeah me ... busy ... that's a contradiction maybe cause most ppl think that I am the laziest person in the world. Anyway been busy as hell. The funny thing is that I don't actually do anything just supervise the repair work at my house.   So whets up with my life. Same old insecurities same old fears nothing changes... But this time I must do something... I can feel it... time has run out ... I need to do something and fast.   The thing that annoys me the most is that I cant be at a place. I cant enjoy something... If I do ... something happens to spoil it. It has happened so many times to me that I really just cant enjoy anything at all anymore.   I keep waiting for signs signals and maybe a helping hand... infect I have relied on others most of my life. I don't know why cant I summon up the confidence I need and I need it bad.   The worse thing is that people are so good at passing judgments on others but never present anythin

Back with a bang im shifting in high gear running in my blood is a barrage of fear the task is a foot and I feel ready to blow away all the smeared and bloody I am the smartbomb that is hell bent to destroy the past selectively spent get out of my way or I'll blow your brains out from a distance can you hear my shout ashes to ashes and dust to dust will be when I'm finished with you... you'll see

We talk too much. We say too much and we even speak up our minds when we say that we are unable to speak. Sometimes  we say things without even uttering a single word and sometimes a speech with articulate words seems hollow...   What elevates words from being mere words to thoughts that touch others... emotions?   Its was nice to see that sombody did read what I was writing. I know that no one will ever fully comprehend cause I am not telling the full story. But thats the way I like it it makes it a mystery and the most importantly its the mystery of my life.   I guess I've had enough of life in my self satisfactory misery bubble. I want out now. The real world awaits. I'm ready to take the world on. Aaaah ! here I go again ... WORDS...   Lets suppose THIS time its all true ... Am I ready for what can await at the other end ?   Been looking for a helping hand all my life... Never did anything alone. I was scared. Maybe am still now. I always used to say t