Uncomfortably Numb

As he moved on, the distinction between right and wrong became increasingly blurry and he got lost in his emotions, those feelings suppressed for so long began to surface. While the thrill exhilarated him he was also afraid but not for long. As he fell further and further into the abyss of his emotional vacuum he lost the sensation of fear to a new sensation of being wanted. This sensation became stronger by the minute overwhelming his persona, hit him with fill force of a tsunami. He hoped this would wash away and hide his tears but he couldn't trust anyone anymore... even himself. Was he foolish perhaps yes... but what could he do when faced with a choice between relentless rejection or soothing promise of love. He tries to walk the tightrope ... which he knows leads to chaos ...

Feelin the cold can't decide which is worse this or the one inside At least this has a limit something u can decide For I am the one living a life meaningless joyless subside Do I regret falling having No one to confide Maybe it's my destiny to have bitter grief reside As darkness slowly creeps in silent cries echo inside Looking for a crowd for I have a tear to hide

To love you is wrong I know feelings as cold as snow can still feel the warmth beside me nothing left to glow I feel the numbness seeping in empty aching heart grows cold you dont even see me now might as well be buried deep within I wish I could stop being sober cant bare to know that its over memories riddle the mind asking why with no answer you will know what emptiness is you will feel what loneliness gives you will look for comforting warmth you will long for lingering embrace wishing ashes could give I will burn until nothing's left you will notice the warmth then never knowing that it is the last gift

Pakistan. I loved the name and when I grew up I loved the idea. Since then Ive accepted the bitter reality that the idea though how beautiful at its inception, remains as fragile. Ive seen many years and have witnessed the decay of morality and humanity seeping away. Things that once were rare and were enough to jog the conscious of a nation, now dont even register. Pakistanis seem to have and endless ability to devise ways to plunder, murder & inflict endless pain thus becoming less then human blood thirsty sadists. A population with no moral values, no human decency invites a destiny of annihilation. No amount of human endeavour can alleviate the collective sickness that runs in the blood. There is no cure for this plague except extinction. An extinction well deserved. When you remain quiet when they murder brothers, mothers and children. When they burn houses and you look the other way. When they spew hatred and you accept. When you dont think and just obey. You don

Feeling the numbness seeping in right to the pores nothing left within lifeless eyes stare at me, faces grinning as the soul evaporates and they win you dont know the depth of my grief was said to me aching and crying what to offer there is nothing left some comfort words and praying strange bonds of shared sadness carried through wires paper thin

How do we believe something? How do we go beyond a shadow of a doubt about something? What are our convictions & beliefs and are they really forever and do we cloud our judgement with our aspirations and distorted view of the world through our limited knowledge and by simply believing what we are told? As terms like Islam Ahmadiyya or #JalsaUK trend at the top positions on Pakistan's twitter page, previously terms like Promised Messiah or Mirza Masroor Ahmad and others also trended. Now assuming that most of the pakistani twitter users check to see what the current trends are, why did they choose to ignore it, or why does it stir so much hatred thats what I am trying to figure out. "Mostly" the literate intellectuals choose twitter as their social network, ones that can see through the uselessness of Facebook and are interested in serious dialog and discussion. It seems logical when a term like The Promised Messiah pops up it should warrant some investigation...

It was 1984 and I was 7 years old. That day was strange my dad brought a box home and it was filled with kalima badges I had never seen so many badges before. As I vaguely recall I asked my father what were they for and he said they are for proudly showing that we are Muslim. Why do we have to show anyone that were Muslims? was my question and his reply was cause some bad guys think they can read what's in your heart. Darker days were ahead Zia's ordinance had been enforced I remember that day when they said you cannot do Adhan in your mosques and you cannot call your mosque what it was. I remember the prayers where my father and brothers and sister and others would cry and one could hear the cries of lament that emanated from their souls. Soon news started to arrive of arrests being made, their crime? "posing as a Muslim" and I would wonder how can I be any other way, I am a Muslim thats all I know how to behave like... Will they come for me too? Then one