Uncomfortably Numb

September 11 2000 is the day my mother passed away after fighting cancer for 4 years. I have never known anyone more gentle & kind than her.  I have seen her in pain, but never once did I see her complain. Her patience was remarkable.  Now that I'm older and understand certain things, I see that there aren’t many people like her in this world. My brother Tanweer Sabir from UK recalls his memories, Ami, as he used to call her with effection, writes, "I have known her for her gentleness and kindness for her family and also for others. A very very brave women she was indeed. The way she fought cancer till the depart, with strong will and faith in Alllah. She knew all along what was going to happen, always encouraged her children to pray for her. I remember her, always smiling and prayers on her lips for us. I deeply miss those prayers, kindness and affection."  She helped so many without hurting their dignity, would send them money via me or herself and alway

#ahmadiyyat #islamahmadiyyat #persecution #pakistan  The really twisted thing is that they (mainstream muslims) want everything that Jamaat Ahmadiyya offers in terms of uniting the Umaah but still won't accept Ahmadiyyat.  The mullah doesn't let them do it cause doing that means that they will have to leave their monopoly on everything religious. The mullah don't let the common man learn Islam for themselves cause that way the mullah holds power over every aspect of their daily lives. Let's take a child's birth as an example. The parents will wait hours for a mullah to come and give a simple Azaan cause they don't know how. This arrangement suits the individual as well, cause do whatever u want and the mullah will take care of forgiveness is an easy deal isn't it? Jamaat Ahmadiyya teaches to have a strong connection with Allah under the leadership of one Imaam the Caliph. Emphasis is on learning & bettering ones self.  Mullah on

For he talks in riddles but easy to decipher pointless banter, vices of the pretentious tis the arrogance that saddens the heart for nothing makes it completely go dark witnessed the depth of cruel deception from those apparent bastions for faith horrid faces unsightly, forgetting humility becoming fodder for fire inside and out partake mere indulgence of power for it corrupts the soul form within the devil whispers praise in thy ears making one forget the dust in the end for what is man but not dust encompassed briefly held in the boundaries of time he who sees himself above others, forgets for man has one constant, looming frailty words echo forever even if the soul dies pride gets buried in the dust with the rest

People use others insecurities to manipulate them and they don't even realise that there being used... and seems like age has nothing to do with wisdom...  Once entrapped by vanity, ego or insecurities I've often wondered what makes people do the things they do and always found petty reasons behind their actions. Beware of such people they are very skilful at finding the vices of the ego of others and using them to their advantage.  They attach themselves like a parasite sucking the blood of the host while giving the illusion of nurturing. The power of these people relies on your trust and their tell is that they isolate you from the rest of the world and fuel your paranoia that everyone is against you and only they are your true well wishers. True friends tell you the bitter truths and never try to isolate you. Deceivers try to isolate you for only then they can keep feeding you their lies and using you.  Once you stop talking to others and weighing in th

29th May 2013 the last day I saw my son alive. We had traveled all night and my flight was at 9am. We stayed at a place for freshening up in the morning just outside of Islamabad, it was a cool breeze and Rohan & Rohail were running around, it was a hilly place all green, a mosque.  It was the last time I saw him smiling, that moment his innocence, the laughter with his brother, thats how things should be. A playstation thats all he wanted, and thats what I promised I would send him, he had started counting the months even before I left. A year later when Rohail got his console I kept thinking how happy Rohan would have been if he had gotten it. As we started again, he became sad, he did not want me to leave, he was on the back seat, how I wish I could have spent more time with him, when we reached the airport we were running a few mins late so I quickly hugged everyone Goodbye, how I wish I could have hugged him a little longer. That was the last time I touched him.

On 5th April 2015 with the grace of Allah I was blessed with a daughter, Aaniya Ahmad. I find no words adequate to describe my gratitude, this is just a humble attempt. O Allah the almighty the all knowing ever the merciful Giving without asking boundless and plentiful  Showing graces for a mote of dust the most sinful No words can ever capture thy magnificence beautiful  For I am nothing without thy grace Lord of all worlds For your blessings have given me a gift so wonderful When I had thought all was lost and happiness forsaken Tis you o Lord who has made all anew, life meaningful   Weak words of gratitude I submit a humble supplication praise for Allah the magnificent from one deeply grateful

To tell the truth I am more of a ST-TNG fan than the original series and thats because my introduction to Star Trek came in the form of TNG in the late 80s on Pakistan Television. I was 11 and was blown away, spent hours on an imaginary space ship of my own, giving orders and defeating threats. The desktop of my school desk was littered with the designs of my imaginary touch screens. Only when satellite tv came to us in the mid 90s I got a taste of the original series which seemed weird and wacky to me, but in it there was a voice, a voice of reason and logic which appealed to me and thats when I fell in love with a tv character called Spock. As I grew up and went through various re runs and books related to Star Trek I began to understand the appeal of an utopian society where logic and science ruled, where there was no poverty for the most part, where there was no need for money and everyone was free to pursue their dreams, most of these books were written by Leonard Nimo