Uncomfortably Numb

You ask so many questions You know the answers Why can't u see Seeing you in pain  this too is hurting me You said you would understand  You made no demand As I take my hand Look closer It's bleeding too Life's bitter truth  Nothing lasts forever  Let go which holds you back Hold on to what you cherish For memories are what remain As long as the soul lives As long as the breath lasts

In life's journey  We shared many a meal We laughed we talked prayed the wound would heal We shared the pain we had Moments of happiness we could steal As my destination grows near I must say goodbye I fear Never to see u again  But never say I don't feel you pain  All the happiness may find you All the blessings may bind you May you feel His presence  May Allah be your essence  May he take all your fears away May you have peace let the pain decay  In my prayers you'll always be Your tears none may see In my heart there will always be A prayer, a glimmering memory

Can't run can't hide, fear resides Blood sweeps bruised hides Wounded battered can't speak No one cares none hear cries Minarets of hatred rise high Pretence abound, the soul dies Looking for solace from idols Following the path made of lies Boundless abyss of ignorance They fall oblivious of demise Friend or foe cognition forsaken Bare deception clouds naive eyes Those who seek truth find it Absolution comes to the wise Love for All Hatred for None Answer stares you in the eyes

You have come into my life like a blessing You make me feel love which I was missing You are like a beautiful rose a flower Sweet scent of your love is spreading You have engulfed my heart and my soul Silenced my cries and laughter is all I'm hearing How I love u I wish I could explain How could I resist some one as u are caring

Wish I could just vanish Silently without a whisper Into nothingness Without pain Without memories How I long for you Loving someone You can never hold Never look in the eyes Sweet perfume on you clothes Is fading..... so is my will You said no one dies with someone You were right... This is worse Wish I could just fade I can't bare your not being there

Those eyes filled with wonder Without a word said so much journey was just beginning you had the kind the gentle touch You were Personified innocence Everything about you was such Sat beside me when I would pray understood without saying much you made me proud only if I could say If words convey I love you how much Happy birthday my son. I know these words don't do you justice. I can never find words that could explain what you meant to me and how empty I feel without you and how you make me proud. May you rest in eternal peace. Rohan Ahmad Numair 2003 - 2013

I put on those clothes that I bought the day I came back cause I wanted them to see me as you would. Quickly I get ready for I want to see you so badly.  Spray that perfume you would have liked...  My daily ritual of sorts... I know it is getting late... soon the sun would be no more and I standing alone in the darkness. So much to tell you... So much to say and hear... They say it's weird that I smile sometimes. They judge me from afar.  Perhaps they can only see what's written...  Perhaps reading  between the lines is a lost art. They can't see my eyes when someone says your name...  How can they.... As the time for us to meet goes near my heart shudders recalling the past...  Words said... Not said.... And fears...  Questions... They still remain unanswered. Will remain for eternity... As I walk towards you I know you can't see me.  I don't wish anymore cause I know there is nothing left when they come true...  You were my wish that came true. I reach t

Today I will wear a smile I will pretend your there in the morning To wake me up To get my clothes ready I will pretend you're there to greet me I will taste the sweets you've made I will hear your laughter I will praise you on the way you look I will meet people as you would I wish pretending was easy I wish I could do what I said I would

Days have gone since I Saw your face smiling at me That last goodbye wish it lingered Your sweet voice calling for me I look at your side of the bed Teary eyes have nothing to see You were crazy sometimes Sometimes sweet just for me Every second I fight back misery For the one thats looking at me I can't fathom living without you But that's the way I have to be You were God's precious gift Which no one else can ever be I close my eyes and I see you In my heart you'll forever be

O Allah the almighty Hear my cries See the tears I weep Save me There's none else that I seek For I am torn Shattered The ache hidden I keep Great is your name Sublime is your magnificence True is your word All the promises you keep Vast is your kingdom Over countless dimensions Infinite is your knowledge Boundless is your mercy Pray forgive me my lord For my sins I am but a speck of dust At the mercy of your wish

How can I remember you How can I capture in words What you were to me, are to me How can I say to you How looking at you made my day How can I write in words How my world shattered when you left How can I even begin to imagine a life without you How can I, not see you everyday and Not feel my soul evaporate How can I see someone in love and not lament what I've lost How can I walk these roads where we used to walk How can I bare these walls which still echo your voice How can I laugh when your not here to share it How can I breath When your not here to hear it How can I tell the story Where is my happy ending

Your voice woke me up Only to find an empty space You were beautiful elegance For me Personified grace Every moment your reflections I see your kind and gentle face All that's left are memories  An ache for the heart to embrace You shone and made my life bright With light which nothing can replace

All praise is for Allah For He is the one Who can save u From the rain From the lowest depths From lingering pain My tears are for u o Allah For you are the one Who gave me the test Of loosing the one a gem among the rest My lips will only say your praise While my heart weeps While my eyes betray a tear I see the gift I'm left with The little angel for me to keep For I endured all u gave me With patience and faith I have stood with head held high But I am a speck of dust At the mercy of your wish Pray be kind for you're all merciful You're the one who gives plentiful When we don't even ask I submit my self o God For a contented life For this sweet angel A never fading smile That's all I ask

All I wanted to say was goodbye To hold you for one last time To hear your heart beat To remember once you were mine Can't fathom the Distance more than what's between us Can't bear the silence Echoes of words said once I laughed today at my sadness Perhaps the answer, madness Perhaps if I close my eyes Would end dreaming darkness It's not easy forever waiting When I know your not coming How to make the heart understand How to stop this perpetual yearning Nothing soothes nothing eases the pain even stopped searching reasons to blame All the roads traveled together in vain Story of love lost never to be found again

All left to do is to cry the one last goodbye cant take back words how hard you may try when love is not enough how can life go on, get by getting harder to breath heart stumbles asking why tear soaked the pillow none touched your eye said you hated this face which once made you high this pain wont go away wishing could just vanish, die.

You made me say those words With your soothing kindness Don't wish to lead you astray Don't wish to ensue blindness Your words fill up my senses You give love eternal timeless Happiness may u always have Smiling brimming contentness If I could give more than words Choices shackle lips to silence

Feelin the cold can't decide which is worse this or the one inside At least this has a limit something u can decide For I am the one living a life meaningless joyless subside Do I regret falling having No one to confide Maybe it's my destiny to have bitter grief reside As darkness slowly creeps in silent cries echo inside Looking for a crowd for I have a tear to hide

To love you is wrong I know feelings as cold as snow can still feel the warmth beside me nothing left to glow I feel the numbness seeping in empty aching heart grows cold you dont even see me now might as well be buried deep within I wish I could stop being sober cant bare to know that its over memories riddle the mind asking why with no answer you will know what emptiness is you will feel what loneliness gives you will look for comforting warmth you will long for lingering embrace wishing ashes could give I will burn until nothing's left you will notice the warmth then never knowing that it is the last gift

Feeling the numbness seeping in right to the pores nothing left within lifeless eyes stare at me, faces grinning as the soul evaporates and they win you dont know the depth of my grief was said to me aching and crying what to offer there is nothing left some comfort words and praying strange bonds of shared sadness carried through wires paper thin

forewarned not to be ridden unwise to taste the forbidden for there is always a catch sweet poison vile and hidden while the infection quickly spread ensuing blindness to the looming dread woven was a deception so complete pretty beads of lies on every thread ambition kindling the fire within virtue withered naked souls therein when the blistering truth conceded nothing was left but a prying grin left untold and forgotten will be that love once blossomed for me that I bore such tormentful cruelty hiding wounds where none can see