Uncomfortably Numb

I have a theory that everything changes in a person's life in every two years at most. Ive seen it in my life many times. What I believed was that circumstances change but I didn't think that people change as well ... well I didn't know better... There is no such thing as a constant in our lives. I've seen people change, the ones I thought never could. Its painful to me to look back and see the ones I loved and shared my life with being so selfish. Whose to blame here? me or them ... have I changed as well? I guess I have... for better or worse I don't know One might say I'm the reason of my problem.

I did it all. I've seen it all unfold. I know the questions and even know the answers.I grasp the reality of it. I try to hold  on to it. I try to fail. I know the limits. I close my eyes. I try to dream but the nightmare wont let me sleep. what kind of dream is this. Somebody wake me up…Save me! I know what I've lost and I know what I've gained. I keep hoping that it would end this time. How did I end up here looking at the abyss of sorrows. All I want right now is to slowly drift into non existence.  I've had enough. This has to stop.

These days working on a new project. Its a new version of the Yasurnal Quran for MTA. Here is a screen shot of the project in Adobe Premiere CS3. It takes about 3 days to finish one lesson. What makes the Yasurnal Quran unique from others is the font that was developed by Peer Manzoor Mohammad Sahib in 1904. It was converted to digital font by some guyz at the Jamia Ahmadiyya making this video version possible. The whole Project is done using the multi-cam technology in Adobe Premier which means that during recording no switcher is used and all cameras have tapes in them giving more flexibility during editing. There are a lot of separate parts which combine to make the complete picture for instance the 3D portion which is done in a program called Pro Animator. Take a look at the project pic (above)to see how much work is involved. Every letter or words has its own 3D element which has to be made separately. Then there is the background & other element layers. As far a

The hardest thing that I ever have to do while editing for MTA is the Shahadat reports and Documentaries. The viewers get to see only a toned down and tv friendly view of things. I on the other hand get access to actual footage and images and which makes my heart ache with pain. All one can do is pray and hope that the documentary or the report your making makes a difference.

It was late 2000 I think my mother had just passed away in september and I was also a newly wed. At that time I was jobless and doing small jobs like making dvds vcds or editing wedding movies. Which I didn't like at all cause that meant doing editing typical desi paki style which I hate. Anyway in this regard I was known in rabwah that this guy knows something about video. So one day I got a call from MTA Pak that they wanted help in some NLE job. So I went and then never stopped going. Worked for almost three years as a volnteer untill I got a job there. My first major job at MTA was the Holy Quran Project. I took me and my team took about 2 years to finish the complete Quran and its translation.Two sets were made from a single project one quran tilawat only and second with urdu translation. The whole thing was a complicated accumilation of different parts. For example the audio was analouge had to be captured the cleaned of all noise and then treated. That alone took a day or

My cousin poppy bhai sent this some time ago. It appears to be one of the earliest things I ever wrote so here it is... I love the line وہ کون تھا جسکے لئے قلم اٹھایا میں نے وہ کون تھا جس کا قلم اٹھایا میں نے Ah the carefree days of youth!