Uncomfortably Numb

Going back the years U nlocked many fears Even had some cheers While wiping off tears What I've learned I've come here to share Pride is the worst  That you must clear  We are just specs of dust Floating in the sea of time At the mercy of the divine Why then this is yours, mine Whats left behind are deeds Just like planting seeds of love or what hatred breeds Leave behind a better creed

You talk about depth As if you've seen the ocean My ocean You say the word abyss As if you have tasted despair My Despair You ache with pain As if you've seen whats inside My heart But you never stay As if that is what you fear My love How can you say As if you understand My life

I give up I'm tired of fighting the odds I'm tired of hoping I'm tired of constant defeat Why fight  if you're going to loose anyway Drifting like a speck of dust we are Useless afloat Devoid of any purpose Meaningless Existing cause we can I'm sick of trying  When the game is rigged What if I just stopped playing What if I just cease to exist No wrinkle on anyones brow I'm sure I want to scream till my lungs explode And with those vibrations this Body turns to dust  Perhaps then this solitary will end Don't pretend to ask I know you don't care really You relish someone else's suffering Makes you feel good about yourself Let me be stuck  In this black hole Where life is sucked out of you With every breath I'm tired  I'm Broken

 میں تم سے ناراض ہوں اور کچھ کہنے کو رہا ہی نہیں اور کچھ رونے کو بچا کیا ہے اور یہ بھی بے وجہ ہے یہ تو میں جو لکھتا رہا تم نے تو پھاڑا ہر صفحہ ہے ہر یاد جو اب بیکار ہے تم پر میرا ادھار ہے میں نے مانا میری بھی خطا ہے پر یہ کیسی مستقل سزا ہے  تم تب بھی بے رحم   تم اب بھی بے خبر بے جان   نہ تب سنا نہ اب سن سکو گے   یہی تو نوحہ میرا ہے

Stop now. don't go any further. you know what's behind the closed door. don't open it. the door you shut your self. aching and longing on this side. what's lost, what you never had on the other. I cant drown the voices in my head while drowning in the memories. Memories of a face never seen for real, memories of laughter, memories of embraces never actually had. Memories of crying on a shoulder that was there but not. years have gone but ache remains. longing remains...  here I stand cut off. Even if it was an invisible thread it was a life line... a semblance of some unknown connection..  I descend into despair all too familiar, its the darkness I hold at bay within and every so often it comes to the surface and I cant breath. I cant call out... I cant see... I cant say...  Oh Lord hear me... ease this suffering... 

Well we've arrived. The place some dreaded for years, all those ignored warning signs and wake up calls later. We have become so numb that this hasn't even registered upon our brain dead comprehension. All that's left is to enjoy the perverse decay that now enriches our lives. You see there comes a times when you just can't help but laugh at the helplessness.  We relish the trivial like jelly biscuits and enjoy destroying each other's lives, washing each other's dirty linen for fun. We like to take selfies with dead corpses. We glorify murderers and agents of chaos & destruction.  I could go on and on listing everything that we have destroyed but whats the use now, there is no way out of this but a great reset, and nature takes care of that by itself. Hatred unleashed eventually consumes everything and the great circle starts again with nothing left of the previous. I mean we all see the relics of the past the Pyramids, the ruins of South America or else whe

This is my canvas where I paint with words, it was never intended to be a "text book". These are my thoughts and feelings, a way for me to process things, I have written countless words since forever, on excess, on superficiality on apparent contradictions in what we practice and what we preach. I genuinely believe that in this age our younger generation has lost the ability to do critical thinking. We revel on whats on the surface, our lives a mere projection for others to consume, nothing deep or meaningful, reduced to empty instagram posts in essence, mimicking the same done by others countless times before, we have lost the ability to recognize whats really important, our projection is more important to us than the inner peace that simplicity brings.  I know these conclusions come with time. Not my business to judge or impose my world view on anyone, thats not the reason of writing these words. I write because there is no other way for me to fathom the decay I see in mora