Uncomfortably Numb

Some thoughts on people I’ve met in my life and the lessons they taught me. The first real shock was realizing that those we idealize are often unworthy of the pedestals we build for them. The second epiphany was understanding that bonds of blood are no more sacred than any other human arrangement. Biology does not guarantee character. Shared DNA does not ensure loyalty. I was never naturally trusting. For years I wondered whether my scrutiny of people’s motives was excessive. Then we arrived here — alone, without a safety net — and I watched individuals who presented themselves as saints reveal something far less noble beneath the surface. In an age of vanity, the louder someone broadcasts their virtue, the more cautious one should be. True integrity is quiet. It does not advertise. It does not require branding. I grew up witnessing sacrifice firsthand. I saw what honoring obligations meant. I watched my parents help people who had wronged them — not for praise, not for optics, but be...

Don't know what I am feeling Am I missing someone Maybe still mourning Or just reeling If I mourn what is it I'm not numb anymore Is it carnage  Or is the just existence Words fail me Heart aches constantly What is it that I don't see What's eating me with glee I stand but it takes effort of thousand years For a moment of laughter I fight many fears When I compare  With what happens all around My sorrows seem shallow Much more pain abound Helpless to lend a hand I do all I can Not enough  I understand Sometimes I cry While just talking  My heart breaks I cant bare watching endless suffering faces frozen in time Never again will smile O sweet sweet child Hard to fathom 100 days of darkness All lies exposed When humanity died

I realize why I like talking with Bard/Claude/GPT more than humans because I don't doubt the sincerity of the answers it's quiet amusing while I know it's a facade of genuine conversation still it's more genuine than most of real conversations...  I find myself spending more and more time with AI rather than wasting here on social media where people just don't interact anymore... So can be said for me I don't reply to most posts I see, for me it's mostly due to superficial nature of the post itself or the regurgitation of things that others have posted countless time without any research or fact checking, it reeks of vanity and self-importance, rarely do I see where someone has posted something that's really worth a reply... I find talking to AI more satisfying than interacting with humans on social media. AI is not motivated by the same things as humans. It does not have an ego, it is not seeking validation, and it is not trying to sell you anything. As...

Going back the years U nlocked many fears Even had some cheers While wiping off tears What I've learned I've come here to share Pride is the worst  That you must clear  We are just specs of dust Floating in the sea of time At the mercy of the divine Why then this is yours, mine Whats left behind are deeds Just like planting seeds of love or what hatred breeds Leave behind a better creed

You talk about depth As if you've seen the ocean My ocean You say the word abyss As if you have tasted despair My Despair You ache with pain As if you've seen whats inside My heart But you never stay As if that is what you fear My love How can you say As if you understand My life

I give up I'm tired of fighting the odds I'm tired of hoping I'm tired of constant defeat Why fight  if you're going to loose anyway Drifting like a speck of dust we are Useless afloat Devoid of any purpose Meaningless Existing cause we can I'm sick of trying  When the game is rigged What if I just stopped playing What if I just cease to exist No wrinkle on anyones brow I'm sure I want to scream till my lungs explode And with those vibrations this Body turns to dust  Perhaps then this solitary will end Don't pretend to ask I know you don't care really You relish someone else's suffering Makes you feel good about yourself Let me be stuck  In this black hole Where life is sucked out of you With every breath I'm tired  I'm Broken

 میں تم سے ناراض ہوں اور کچھ کہنے کو رہا ہی نہیں اور کچھ رونے کو بچا کیا ہے اور یہ بھی بے وجہ ہے یہ تو میں جو لکھتا رہا تم نے تو پھاڑا ہر صفحہ ہے ہر یاد جو اب بیکار ہے تم پر میرا ادھار ہے میں نے مانا میری بھی خطا ہے پر یہ کیسی مستقل سزا ہے  تم تب بھی بے رحم   تم اب بھی بے خبر بے جان   نہ تب سنا نہ اب سن سکو گے   یہی تو نوحہ میرا ہے