Uncomfortably Numb

My mind is in fulto khapping mode at the moment. Reason unknown. Maybe I'm bored or maybe as the great mujambo says sari rati khajal Hoya fer v kuj nahin labba. Whatever the reason I hate khapping mode and it seems whenever one is in khapping mode the rest of the world is hell bent on increasing it's potency. I think this can be used as a blogging tool. At least it can save drafts. The other day I wrote a poem on another program and it didn't save it and all data was lost and I had to write it again. Just came back from hospital Rohail's got some kind of allergic rash on his legs dr says it's due to wedding meat. The wedding couple is in front of me acting all funny trying not to. Another fraking drama is on hum tv. I think all drama makers on paki tv should be castrated. The shit that passes as television is crap of the most smelly kind. And then the uncle goes ahead and turns on the news... Man this guy in one big news junkie ... And the news is even crappi

She was like an ocean breeze she touched his face she held his hands under the pillows to hide the love she had she was like a blossom she let him go smiling how she hurt inside how she cried he never knew she hid it just like before he moved on and so did she he never apologized she never said a word maybe she knew how sorry he was what they had pure & beautiful maybe eternal perhaps needs closure to finally say goodbye

I sometimes marvel at the human ability to forget. I see relationships everywhere and almost all the time the ones who are in them say things like ... oh its perfect or I would never do anything to jeopardize this ... but they do ... people fall apart and here is why... The Belief that Love is almost supernatural thus incorruptible Love is just an emotion and what is emotion ? its a human behavior response to specific stimuli. When I talk to young people who are searching for mates the most common thing I notice is the absolute disregard for reality. Perhaps it's due to age and the lessons one learns through time or hormones.The thing that one must learn is that nothing is absolute in life and almost always things and people are not what they seem on the surface. The human kind is a fascinating species able to lie and cheat and break the trust of the ones who love you the most. We go thorough relation after relation repeating the mistakes and forgetting what happened the last

So here we are again ... Going full circle looking at the start again ... It's no use complaining I guess but still its not fair ... I really thought this was it this time and I would finally be free. I don't know how I can contain my frustration anymore ... I loath the state of mind that I'm confronted with all the time and now I can't escape it is painfully evident. Support ? thats a novel idea .... I really wish I could have it from "the one" but some might say isn't that support what's been already done but thats not enough I'm afraid ... Dont understand what I'm sayin ? Good Join the club....

So you know that I like science now... but that not all that I love, the other most cherished experience of my life is music. I loved music ... since from the earliest memories I have. Its mostly due to the Radio Behrain tapes that my sister made and what my brothers listened to. My Dad had a very good record collection and he was more into listening to classical stuff K.L Sehgal, Habib Wali Mohd. so the music I heard all the time ranged from The Beetles to the raag rang program that came on ptv late at night and in between Abba, BoneyM, Micheal Jackson, Dire Strights, Madonna but then came MTV and Channel V and MCM and all kinds of Music channels on Satellite I admit I dont really know that much about music genres as such ... but I know a good tune when I hear one... most of my friends say that I listen to a particular tune or album long before it becomes popular ... here is a little screenshot of my music (just the albums section) at my hdd at the moment ... Click to see a

So here I am with the account of the wedding... well this weddings been all about one person really whenever we sat to talk the conversation boiled down to this one person ... What this person did or would do or didn't do... hehehe... I know that this person is real pain in the ....  but I don't understand the constant need to discuss it with others ... and since I've known from experience that people only discuss something about others with you to gather your reaction and then they use what you said to incite the other and then take enjoyment in seeing you two fight... Thats why I mostly stay away from these kinds of discussions cause I know that nobody is really sincere with you, everyone is in it for some kind of need and once that need is satisfied your ancient history buddy... well about the wedding ... it was the usual as wedding go in Pakistan although it was more taxing for me cause my participation was from both sides...

One day in the sixth or seventh grade I came back from school and got straight to bed. The fun began when I woke up. I totally forgot about my day and thought it was morning again and My dad had real fun with that he started saying you better get ready for school and have breakfast and I was like hey I went to bed in my uniform and I wont have to put it on again... ;) so about 1/2 an hour later I realized that I had been had... when Dad turned on the television. My dad was a fun loving man and most of the events I remember of my childhood when I went somewhere for a picnic or something were all arranged by him and mostly paid for by him as well. He loved to see his family having fun. One time we went to the river side. We had all kinds of Bar BQ stuff with us and we were 16-18 people all stuck in our volvo station wagon, we would just turn the seats down and all of us would go in... anyway when we started up our BarBQ there the aroma started to spread. There were a bunch of guyz pl