Uncomfortably Numb

As the new year's sun will rise most of us would have made some sort of promise to our selves. A new year's resolution, almost all are about something we want or desire. As I sit here and write these words and look at the year I have left behind I only have one new year's resolution and its not about wanting ... its about giving... I wish to give as much love as possible ... thats all the world needs ... thats all what I need.

If you know me then you know that I'm no conservative but sometimes some thing comes up that makes my blood boil. I stopped watching Pakistani television some time ago but today happened to watch a drama on Geo and what they were preaching in that drama really pissed me off. My concern is this. I don't care if they show porn on television as long as its clearly marked as porn and not shown in primetime.  They always say to me that english movies and dramas have much more violence and sex and bad things in them, you don't say anything about them? but the thing is that the program or a movie has clear indications of whats in it and if there is something you can just skip that part and it's over also due to language most dont understand it anyway. The problem is that Pakistani media is in urdu and easily understandable to children and the themes being discussed in primetime when children are watching have far greater impact also the writers take no pains to ma

A bomb blast kills 87.  87, just a number, a statistic, doesn't even shade us anymore. The more the brutality, the more numb we become, reaching to the point when we just flip the channel. We ignore it.  Life is everything to us, no other truth needs to be learned, who cares if the only thing absolute in this world is mortality. We all want the high life. We dream big, we have high aspirations and most of us have agendas. Some crave greatness, breaking the rules, they step over every moral, ethical and religious boundary.  But what we don't think of, and let slip our minds is the inevitability of death. Some people die for a cause and become martyrs and some become useless statistics, martyrs for some, demons for others. How can we know which one is which? Have you ever wondered if your death would be a statistic or will it mean something? All those who see a crime and let it happen are more guilty than the perpetrator himself, this is the law of

I stopped following Pakistani news media long time ago and whenever I am forced to endure some media pundit's sermon my views are reinforced. There were a few which I thought were better then the pack but soon it dawned on me that they were also no different and not in it for the truth. When I was studying tv journalism, one of our teachers who had been an MD for PTV plainly told us that there is no such thing as a fair and unbiased media and in an environment like Pakistan where news is bought and sold with the presenters, its foolish to expect fair and objective reporting. Still one hopes and wants to believe that there are a few who would dare to speak the truth and channels who would dare to air them. These last days have seen a drastic increase in the incidents of Anti Ahmadiyya violence and rhetoric. One person murdered another shunned from society, someone looses his job or some students are expelled, keep on repeating over and over again but no one dares to speak out

night lays awake beside me where once you used to be tearing me inside no one sees how I die slowly eternally can't decide which hurts most betrayal or plain insensitivity shattered dream are made of glass cuts deep which never really heal you loved me once or was it a lie? I am burning before your eyes but you don't see me anymore with every beat the heart aches even more tossing and turning sleep eludes me no it can't be, the one I loved is the one who stabbed me  here I lay bleeding, no one sees how I die bit by bit gradually

Precious lives are lost everyday, murder mayhem and lawlessness. Whose to blame here? A friend says that its God's way of cleaning up. Someone says its insensitive to say that but I say we made this world, we made this country the way it is. No regard for laws, morality and human life. Why cry then, why lament on the loss. Yes we will talk about it ... for a day or two but then we got more pressing issues ... Whats a life's worth in Pakistan? What did we do about any attacks on Pakistani people, what about near Hundred slaughtered in Garhi Shaho in the name of faith and religion, Ahmadi they na! Who cares as long as your safe in your living rooms but God cares and he watches us and punishes our wrong doings, He gives us time to realize our mistakes and repent and if we don't then we invite his punishment. Some among us are beginning to realize that whatever is happening in Pakistan is out of control chaos and some are saying that its God's wrath. Some justify th

This Eid when I woke up to get ready I was in a somber mood. I knew I wasn't going to the Aqsa mosque (the central mosque) where there would be thousands of people and the sweet smell of perfume would make the cool morning air even fresher. No. Those days are gone now. When we used to go to our mosques (places of worship) without the shadows of guns. I was going to the mosque just a few houses away from my house due to terrorist threats to the main mosque and why have I been denied this joy? only because of my religion... only because I choose to believe what I feel is right and which is a matter between me and my God... Only because I choose to call this country my home even if I am called a minority, even if my forefathers gave their blood to make this country a reality. The last Eid we had in the Aqsa Mosque was a few years ago. Seems like a distant memory now. I remember hurrying up to get good parking for my car, getting the children ready and then waiting for ages f